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female
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anonymous
writes:What makes a guy try to pressure a girl into sex? What makes a guy not listen to a girl when she says 'no'? What makes him think its ok to not respect her boundaires? And what makes a guy so controlling? I know those are all general questions, but im just curious as why some guys are like this? a guy who does that to one girl, will he try being like that to every other girl he goes out with? or only the ones who he thinks "deserves" it? is it something personal towards the girl who its done to? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): This is just an extension of the "why are some men such jerks?" questions.
Because it works so much better than what women say they want.
It not only gets the guy faster short-term sex with someone, it usually even gets him more luck in geting real relationships too.
If women don't like it, then they could stop rewarding it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): I got to agree with Lazy guy. I mean its a whole diffrent story if the guy rapes the girl and she REALLY means no and walks away or something. But honestly, most girls give in and so the guys get what they want, if girls didn't give in then maybe boys would step back and rethink the whole pressuring thing. But that will NEVER HAPPEN! lol
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Animals can control their urges and humans are animals, but LJ001 probably puts it better.
For the guys that are like that, it WORKS! They want sex, they get it.
Why don't other guys do the same? Lots of reasons. Lower sexdrive, not wanting to be that kind of person, fear of being labelled a rapist etc etc.
But basically, why should the guys who push it, change their ways? You are asking them to give up sex in exchange for what?
All the women, answer this question, the person LJ001 describes. Virgin or not? Now picture a nice guy, listens, respects the girl, only a light kiss at the end of the first date etc etc. Virgin or not?
For that matter, girls, what kind of guy did you loose your virginity too? A pusher or a guy who respected your limits?
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male
reader, a-g55  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 With any other animal men are geneticly programmed to have sex with as many girls as possible. its been the instinct for millions of years now. since the past few hundred to a thousand years we have introduced marrige and the moral that you must stay with one girl and have relationships where you share values and communicate and talk as well as have sex. but we still havent deleted the instinct. with this in mind. If your not ready for sex then dont enter relationships with men. simple as that. its a shame that you cant just go out with a man and go horseback riding in flowery meadows and sit and watch stars and make cloud shapes. Im sure alot of people blame disney cartoons and fairytales for this. If i told you as a girl that at somepoint i might give you £4 million pounds worth of diamonds and legal tender. you will be asking me when all the time. you would also want to know if its actualy going to happen. the feeling you get is impatience and with that at the forefront in your mind you will start to drill out of me the details of when and also force me and persuade me to give it you sooner becuase you have bills to pay ect and your getting old and you want to enjoy the money now whilst your still young and athletic. and of course before you completely loose faith that your actually going to get it. this is the same for men. by you entering a relationship with a man without bieng ready for sex. the man just wants to know why and when. if you enter a relationship ready and secure about sex then you will natrually just go horseback riding and stare at stars and clouds and have fun with the added benifit of sex at night occaisonally!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): And to your update...
What makes some guys control the urge, and some not? Some have bloody morals and feelings and actually have a conscience.
There is a guy I know that goes to my college, "J" and I'm sorry to say it but he is a horrible person. A womanizer, a player, call him whatever but he is not nice. I went up to him one day, when he was picking on a girl younger than him and said "Do you even HAVE a conscience?" and he simply laughed and replied "Why would I? I don't need one."
And this is exactly the point! Some guys just don't care, or maybe they don't have enough brain cells to work out what they're doing is wrong. Some guys have faith and beliefs, religion even, and have been brought up to treat women with respect. They deal with their urges through wanking, not flipping forcing girls into sexual acts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): 1. They're too horny for their own good AND the good of others. Frankly, they welcome as much sex as they can get.
2. What makes a guy not listen? Because they don't care. Why would they? They don't love her and obviously don't respect her body, so why would they respect anything else?
3. Controlling... Well it's all in the nature of the person really and their motives for doing. Pressuring girls works more often than not, and they get what they want. So they're happy - selfishly happy. Often, girls being pressured accept their status as being lower and less powerful than the men in the relationship, so only make an effort to control THEM when it is too late.
4. Why the act like this? For reasons above. It's easy, they can, it ends in them getting their own way.
5. I don't believe they feel any girl "deserves" it but they are so up themselves that they don't consider her feelings until they are mature enough to look back and even regret it. I'd like to hope most guys grow out of this awful habit, but I guess some will be players and forcers all their lives.
6. I highly doubt it's anything personal to the girl, but no matter what, it's one of the worst things you could do to a person, male or female. Especially virgins.
Not only does it break hymens but it breaks hearts and lives.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf the real reason is because they just want sex and without doing that they won't get as much, then what seperates those guys from the ones who arent like that? why do not all guys have that 'urge' or whatever you want to call it, to sleep around with as many girls despite how many girls they may hurt??
Lazy Guy- well a girl dosent always realise a guy wont respect her boundaries till later during the date, or even after a few. The disrespecting doesnt always happen from the beguining, so thats why she may originaly go out with him. And i dont think you can compare males to cats- cats are animals and humans have the ability of self control, they have morals and values. well, they should anyway. not all do do they? :)
StudentOfLife- interesting reply, i think i agree with what you said.
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male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 No it's not something personal, Those guys think the world goes around them self. They think that what ever they do, it doesn't have any consequences.
These guys often have hardcore backgrounds, they've been thought that way by their life model.
What they need is a good teacher for themselves, someone who's going to give the right example. Someone, of the same sex, that will make him understand the consequences that happens to the victims of such assaults.
There's an old saying that says "Treat others like you want to be treated." I don't think they know that basic life rule.
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male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (30 May 2008):
Because it works.
The simple fact is that if you are one of those losers who stops when the girls says no and respects her limits you end up not having a lot of sex, or indeed any.
Trust me on this, I am one of those losers.
But I got a question in return. What makes a girl go out with a guy who doesn't respect her boundaries?
Complain all you like about guys not listening to NO, but know one thing, as long as it works, it will continue to happen. You might as well ask, why does my cat steal the food from the table if it gets a chance? Because the cat who queitly waits besides his bowl has starved to death.
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male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (30 May 2008):
 a simple answer is some guys a a-holes.
And some guys just want sex from as many girls as they can get it from
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