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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I was reading a lot about marriages ,what falls apart, because of sex. I wonder how common is that ,that a man has erection problems in their 40;es? And what happens ,if their wife stays without sexual intimacy for the rest of the marriage? I think I do have the same problem ,like those frustrated woman who writes here about their husband lost libido, and erection. What is the future of the marriage ,with no sexual desire?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (25 November 2009):
 Erectile Dysfunction is an indicator of several health problems that can crop up around 40. Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, all things you don't want to ignore. So going to see a doctor is really about finding out why. The pills work great for most men, and will get you two back in action.
Now about the prospects, I have heard of sexless marriages, never happy stories. There is an old saying that a relationship with sex and no marriage will last longer than a marriage without sex. The same goes for mismatched libido. You have to communicate, and take action. Regardless of the situation there is some way that both partners can get satisfaction.
I'm Diabetic and have ED as a complication. Unfortunately, I also have the higher sex drive. In short it's been quite an adventure working around that.
You mention lack of desire. That is a harder emotional issue for you. When I found ways to make sure my wife gets her orgasm, her desire seemed to turn back on. Some people just think they are getting too old for that. He is probably suffering from performance anxiety on top of everything. You just need to help him get his confidence back. Make sure he knows that it is him that you want. Also that you are interested in his happiness.
I would be willing to give you more practical / specific advice if you are both interested, since I have been there.
FA
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 November 2009):
It can be very difficult. But if your husband is having problems, then you need to gently talk to him. I'm not sure what country you're from, but here in britain 70% of divorces are started by women, and more often that not it's because there has been a breakdown in communication. You need to speak to your husband gently (too strong and the problem won't go away), and expain that sex is an important part of your marriage. Hopefully, he'll understand. If he is having erection problems, then it could be a medical issue, stress or depression, so that'w why you need to talk.
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