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What is meant by "make my move"?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Okay, before you read this, check my previous question called "How can i make a move without embarassing either of us?" or something like that. Bascically everyone has told me to "make my move", but what is meant by this and how do i go about it. I know it sounds daft, but i don't want to make this any more difficult than it has to be. Do i just ask her straight out "will u go out with me?" or am i better asking if she wants to do something with me eg. the cinema. Thanks for the posts on the last question, hope you can be as much help this time.

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A male reader, df30 United States +, writes (19 February 2010):

Make your move... means ask her out. Dont be scared to fail happens to everybody. I was kind of shy and not aggressive in the past and what i found out was women want someone who is willing to put themselves out there. Be confident in yourself and tell her you feel an attraction for her and then ask her if she would like to go somewhere with you. The more confident you are the better things will go. Just don't be arrogant about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010):

I think you should ask her to a movie. I had a guy ask me to a movie recently and he suddenly held my hand in the cinema! It was so sweet and made my heart go crazy!

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A male reader, childof1981 United States +, writes (18 February 2010):

childof1981 agony auntWhat people mean by "making your move" is that you have to ask her out. I will be even more clear, you have to make it obviously clear to her that you have a romantic interest in her. Yes, that will make you open to rejection and you have to get used to it. You are young so this seems like a big deal and it's probably all you think about, but in the whole of you life this will be a drop in a big bucket.

For exactly how to do it. Ask her to some kind of activity and do it with confidence and without fear. Even if you are feeling timid/unsure/fearful you need to truly believe that you are worth saying yes to and put that face on. And if she says no, don't worry about it. If everybody in the world only ever said yes it would be a boring world indeed.

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (18 February 2010):

I think even a movie first is too much because it involves planning, meeting, setting times and waiting for the big day and all that. Just start with the simplest things ; eg. Can I walk you home today? If she asks why? You say because I have something amazing you should see... If she asks what then tell her its a surprise and she won't regret it"! Be friendly not creepy! Girls are curious creatures, so she will probably agree just to see what it is. So you walk/bus her home, just having a relaxed fun chat, ask lots of questions, make her laugh if you are funny. You get to her destination then you bring out a pink lollipop and tell her, you picked it out specially for her.. Or maybe 3 tied together with a little ribbon or something. Nothing expensive, just a bit of fun. Give it with a laugh; or you can even say "please don't kill me!!!" just to keep the mood light!! Then you leave; don't try get her number yet or ask for another date that same day... Just friendly goodbye see you tomorrow.

Next time, tell her that you know this great icecream place and you know just the flavour she would love. Girls like guys who are confident and decisive like that. Then take her to your favourite icecream place then maybe walk her home again. This time you can ask for her number and if you can call her sometime.

Over the next few days, send friendly texts/jokes/riddles/ fun chats regularly. Then during one of your texts "hey! Avatar is out, let's go see it..!"

After that I think you will be able to figure out what the next step is. Just remember that the friendship approach is always the most successful. Young girls don't like being asked out bluntly and suddenly. They warm up to you and you can melt her slowly through this method. Note; my suggestions are based on your age range so go for it... Make your move!!!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (18 February 2010):

I think you would be better asking her out to a film or something first. To ask her out straight away might make her nervous or something. Take her out for a date and if it seems like it's gone well, ask her for another and see where it leads. After a few dates, then ask her to be your girlfriend.

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