A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Why do married women with kids never mention there husbands in a way you feel they are in a happy marriage.For example, I was talking to a lady who lost everything in a flood and she mentioned she will miss the kids pictures those types of memories and nothing about photos of her and her husband marriage or anything of memory of them both.Is this normal for women with kids to only think of the kids memories and not the husbands or is the marriage not that strong and her concentration is only on the kids and how they make her feel inside?I was just wondering is all and curious.Thanks for you time. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (18 February 2010):
Many women harbor painful memories in their marriages which left eternal scars. Perhaps 30 years ago he once kissed Betty the waitress from the diner, or he once cheated with the secretary or perhaps once threw a punch when he was drunk. Some women choose to forgive but the scars remain. And often, one bad memory can obliterate the hundred good times. Remember that the only people who you love unconditionally are your children. If your child sleeps around, commits adultery, comes home drunk, attacks you on a drug high, sells your tv or steals your car for a joy ride, you will NEVER stop loving them. You will be furious but you will probably never give up on them. But let your partner even look at you wrong.... So you will find that most women survived the tough times by comforting themselves with the fact that at least they have these beautiful children to live for.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK I guess that makes sense and no it wasn't my wife but a lady I have known for awhile. Even in conversations she will say stuff like one time for example.. about a job she was going to and had some conflict with her boss and she was talking to another lady about it and she said I left my kids to come to work and no one was there to open the place up etc., No mention of her husband in the interaction only the kids.
Don't get me wrong I know mothers are very protective of their kids and respect them for it but I would also think if someone is in a good relationship with their husbands she would mention him also with the kids in conversations.
Thanks
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 February 2010):
 I think that maybe you spoke with one woman who may value her children over her husband. Not all of us feel that way, my husband and I are a team and now that the kids are grown, we finally have all the time we want for ourselves. My wedding pictures are just as valuable to me as the baby pictures. Maybe this lady you spoke with would have mentioned her lost wedding pictures but it slipped her mind at the moment. Curious question, why do you ask? This wasn't your own wife was it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): It appears to me that the longer you are married the more contempt you begin to feel for your partner and the more you think of their niggling faults rather than the love you had that brought you both together. I would imagine the lady you spoke to had been married a while. If you are married and with kids with the husband at work then you are concentrating on the children and keeping the home nice and not always getting the attention you might want from a tired and work stressed husband so you don't tend to think of them in a particularly loving way. I would think your friend is fairly indicative of what most women would sadly answer.
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A
female
reader, Melys  +, writes (18 February 2010):
 Haha, that's quite funny actually - I do quite the same, except I don't have any children, only a cat - but I talk about him as if he was my child!
I guess because the love you have for your husband is different to the love you have for your child...it's more caring and nuturing...
I guess we complain about our husbands because we're not going to complain about the good times are we? and It helps us to release the negativity or to have a good old gossip to someone about it...makes us feel good!!
Take care...
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A
female
reader, Tarawr +, writes (18 February 2010):
 Men rarely speak of their wives in a positive light, either. Husbands and wives have to work closely together to make their day-to-day lives work, and one or both of them tend to get lazy and not hold up their ends of the deal, so they both slowly start getting annoyed with the other.
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