A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm single mom with health issues, my BF wants to buy a house and put my name ONLY on the mortgage and he pays Is this wise? The reason I am having a dilemma: I live in a bad neighborhood, my kids like him, we have been together for 6 years and I can't seem to hold a job without getting sick sometimes, (I am a fulltime student).The issue I struggle with (well it is major) is he drinks.I just want security for myself and the kids. Is it worth it?He is willing to put the title in my name only, he says he trusts me and he is taking all the risks? Is this true? With the title in my name only is this ideal for me? II would only pay what I can affordIs this an advantage for me? He even said if something were to happen to us or to him (death or injury) we would get insurance on him so house is paid for in full. Has anyone heard of that?Is it too good to be true? Please let me know!!!!Thanks!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (26 May 2008):
Ask oldersister has some good ideas, though I would keep looking for a term policy and avoid whole life even if the term policy is expensive. It's just a more effective use of the money. The other reason for owning the policy is that if he owns the policy, it becomes part of his estate, and if you own it, it pays out immediately with no tax consequences. Just make sure you can substantiate "insurable interest" - check that out with a lawyer. Some term policies need no physical exam, and rely on the insured's statement or personal warranty to be accurate. After two years(in the states), the policy is valid regardless of the personal warranty.
This situation is certainly worth checking out, and if it still looks good and your relationship is strong after talking to a lawyer and insurance folks, then go for it!
A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (26 May 2008):
Here's a thought regarding the post by Laura1318. You are certainly right that banks will only loan according to certain formula criteria. If the house is being financed either by third party private paper funding or an owner's mortgage/loan, the creditworthiness of the mortgagor is often not too important. The owner may simply be looking for an exit strategy from that house. He/she may own too many houses or want to move far away. Such a person is often willing to overlook credit history and finance the balance anyway. There is a real possibility that this could work, but requires some really careful and creative thinking and analysis. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 I don't know how it works in your country.
Over here , if you don't have an income to match ,
the banks or financial institutions will not give out any
housing loans to you under your name.
There is no way he can buy the house under your name under those terms.
To get the loans , his name will have to be in the deeds and he can add you in.
A loan and a mortgage are two different thing.
When you don't own the house, you need a housing loan .
When you own the house 100% , then you can mortgage it to the bank.
The idea is good but it is technically impossible unless, your country's laws are different.
Check with those banks (loan depart.)about this possibility.
It could just be sweet talk only.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (26 May 2008):
What can be so bad about this deal?
The worst scenerio, you would be evicted from this house and declared a bankrupt.
If being a bankrupt is OK with you , then this deal is good.
Make sure his insurance beneficiary is under your name .
Most women in my place here would gladly accept this deal.
You cannot plan too far ahead in the future.
Nobody knows what will happen in the future.
It is your chance to get out of that neighbourhood and to have your own house.
Think more positive.
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A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (26 May 2008):
I live in the USA and have been involved in many complex real estate deals. There are literally no two identical deals in real estate and there are good reasons for the strangest of permutations!
There are lots of good reasons for him to keep his name off the deed and the mortgage. Generally, the person who's at most risk - most likely to be sued or otherwise compromised - should be the one to avoid ownership of registered assets. I usually buy property in the name of an entity - trust, LLC, corporation or limited partnership in order to avoid the appearance of being too well off and therefore a target of a lawsuit, regardless of the merit of the suit. Generally speaking, women are less likely to be sued for anything in this country, and it makes sense for the woman to own the title to real property. Generally, it's a bad idea to have more than one name exposed on a deed or other registered asset.
There are other things to think of: Any man that drinks excessively has serious problems, regardless of his good intentions. It can be hard to show "insurable interest" if you are not married and the property is not co-owned. Work out the insurance situation first. Make sure you have a strategy to pay the mortgage in case he does leave, or is disabled or worse. Don't count on insurance - the companies can and have canceled without warning or reason. By all means have insurance, but don't have it as your only backup.
I trust you two have a close and trusting relationship, or this would make no sense at all. Find a lawyer and pay for an hour of his/her time to clarify and explain the merits of the proposal, and create exit strategies if things don't work out. There may be really good reasons to do things this way - I have in the past when I lived a very risky lifestyle and wanted to protect assets from my own actions(flying airplanes, riding motorcycles, involving myself in other risky business deals, sometimes even living in the wrong zip code!).
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): THANKS SWEETIES, It's me!!! the Single mom above!!!
I do see the light now thanks to you guys!
You are soo right! I would not benefit would I and yes I did look at the fact that he wants to buy me a house but then again, the sacrifice and risk involved is too much~ Thanks I'm glad I found this site!!
Yes..MEN..Time to buy a lotto ticket I guess..
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female
reader, kittikat +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Listen to Danielepew, he has too many good points to make him "male"! Just kidding, D, but seriously, I hope you take our comments to heart. I worry for you :-(
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 I don't know about laws in the United States OR Canada regarding mortgages. However, I think I understand what he wants. If you ever break up, you will pay the rest of the mortgage. He won't have to continue paying it while you live in the house. However, before anything else, it can also be a good thing: he is buying you a house. If you two stay together for the mortgage period, you will end up being the owner of a home you didn't pay for.
I would follow Kitticat's advice and talk to a lawyer.
However, the house isn't the entire deal. You're wondering whether it would be worth staying with him. On the one hand, he drinks. On the other, he's willing to perhaps buy you a home. I think these are not the right terms to decide whether you should stay on a relationship or not. If the relationship is good, then stay with him. If it's not, break up with him. The house shouldn't be the consideration.
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A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (26 May 2008):
I just thought of something...If you're disabled and a full-time single parent, you probably qualify for government benefits-we do in the states and I'm sure Canada has even better benefits...So, maybe he's thinking that if for some reason the two of you can't make the mortgage for a couple of months that the GOV will pay. I don't know, but again, I don't think he's really risking anything. I'm sure that you'd rather pay your bills every month without the government getting involved. Please let us know what happens with you. :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): It is a gamble either way. If he skips out or doesn't pay the debt is on you so definetly make sure you can afford the property taxes and home owners insurance along with the mortgage without his help. On the other hand if he stays and pays and things don't work out the house is yours and there is nothing he can do about it.
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A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (26 May 2008):
First off, I'm going to put out a disclaimer: I'm in the US, you're in Canada, so I don't know what your laws are like. Here goes my American advice: I don't know, it sounds strange. Did he say why the both of your names shouldn't be on the mortgage? As an American single mom, I'd think something was fishy. You've been together for 6 years, so I'm sure you know him and his problems/issues, but this just doesn't seem to make sense. You said he "drinks", but that's not really a reason to keep your name off of a mortgage. Is he in trouble for something? It almost sounds as though he's trying to avoid the law getting into his business for some reason or another. I've heard that the US and Canada are pretty similar as far as laws go- If he can't pay the mortgage for some reason it would fall solely on you as the policy holder. It's your responsibility because it's in your name. Even if he said he would, if he doesn't pay the bill for any reason whatsoever, the law can't and won't touch him. No matter what he says, he's not legally entitled to pay a cent towards your house if he's not on there. I don't know, this seems really scary. If you think you can buy the house and pay for it on your own, then do it, but if you're counting on him, I would hold off. Or, you could try to convince him to put his name as a co-lendee. Be very careful, this will all be YOUR responsibility no matter what if your name is soley on it. As far as the insurance goes, I don't know what Canada's laws are, but in the US, a person can't normally take insurance out on a property that they don't have rights to. If his name is not on it, he has no rights. So, if something were to happen to him, it wouldn't help you. It's funny (not ha ha funny) that he says he "trusts" you and is taking all the risks...He's not risking anything. He could leave town in a second (not saying he would) and he would be free and clear of your house. I guess a positive spin would be that if everything gets paid every month, your credit score would go up-his wouldn't be affected. Please be very careful, I think your best bet would to seek legal advice. Most lawyers will help answer your easy questions for free, and this seems like a pretty easy one. Good luck, I wish the best for you. Colleen
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A
female
reader, Dreaming +, writes (26 May 2008):
Sounds a bit weird. If I was paying a mortgage, I would want my name on the house too. Does he want your name only on the mortgage, or on the deed. Two different things. If you name only on the mortgage, not a good thing, then you are fully responsible to pay and will go against you if not paid. If your name only on the deed, okay, as you would own all the equity in the home. Make sure if he is going to be paying, that his name is on the mortgage, and make sure you know whose name is going on the deed as well. Maybe see a lawyer, In ontario you can often get a one hour free consultation, other provinces may be similar if you contact your provincial bar association.
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