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*reaming

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I have a terrible moral dilemma...

Q.   I have a terrible moral dilemma. I will try to explain my situation, but I know, it's not easy. I live in a totally collapsed marriage, my children are all gown ups. Not independent, and causing lot's of headaches. I feel totally drained and exha...

A.   22 November 2008: Sometimes you just need some time and space and time away can help people appreciate what you do when you are there. If they are all adults, you do not need to get someone to stay there, just pack up and go. If it will cause trouble if you let ... (read in full...)

How long before we can dispense with the condoms?

Q.   Just a quick question. I'm about to start taking birth control for the first time. I'm 20 years old and up until now haven't taken it due to a leiden deficiency (which makes my blood thicker than a normal person's), but my doctor and I have found...

A.   31 October 2008: just keep in mind that the birth control pill does not prevent against any sexually transmitted infections. If there is any risk of that, you should not stop using condoms.... (read in full...)

Should I get him a gift in return for his good advice?

Q.   I've recently become FWB with a co-worker (we work in separate departments). He gave me some advice regarding an accident I was in, and as a result I've come into some money (over $800), which will really help me out with some bills, altho he says I ...

A.   31 October 2008: yeah, just dont over do it. You probably would have got some of it without his advice!... (read in full...)

My relationship with my brother in law

Q.   I am 25 and live with my sister and brother-in-law. I came here in search of job and am being here since 4 months. its the same time my b.i.l lost his job and was staying home. i love my sister very much and my b.i.l too, in fact respect my b.i.l as ...

A.   31 October 2008: Move out! he is coming on to you by the sounds of it and you dont need the hassle. Dont wait for it to get worse.... (read in full...)

My anus is bleeding from a foreign object. Too embarrassed to go to the doctor..will I be ok?

Q.   I am a young woman. I have stuck a foreign object in my anus and it started bleeding last night. It is still bleeding when i try and make bowl movements. Its only been a day but i am worried that it will keep bleeding. I know i probably only ripped ...

A.   22 October 2008: Doctors see all kinds of things you wont be the first or the worst but you better go and get it checked. too many complications could happen if it does not heal properly.... (read in full...)

What does 'Enjoy your company' mean?

Q.   For starters I am 42 years old and have been divorced for 4 years now I did not start dating until Feb of this year - About a month ago I met a women who is 48 - We get along great - and we compliment one another on a wide variety of different ...

A.   9 October 2008: Well, maybe you need to ask her to clarify. Maybe she is looking and wants more but is scared, it is a confusing statement and clarity would help you both!... (read in full...)

Should I try and stay friends with my abusive ex?

Q.   Hello, I recently have left my boyfriend of 2 years. It has been 1 month. I ignored him for about 3 weeks because the last day i saw him, he hit me. this is not the first time it had happened. he has been hitting me on and off for about 18months. he ...

A.   19 August 2008: Okay, this is a very unhealthy relationship. Stay away from this guy!... (read in full...)

Should we marry with clearly explained doubts?

Q.   For you married Cupids... is it wise to go into a marriage with doubts? We love each other, but we have doubts that we have discussed and are working on... still, should we postpone? Thank you!...

A.   15 August 2008: Everyone has certain doubts- okay not everyone, lots of people, like will it last, how can we make it last, what will it be like to be married. Normal! But, there are other normal doubts that do not make healthy long lasting relations, such as abus... (read in full...)

My aunt got my crush's number for herself, after I told her I liked him!!

Q.   I have been crushing over this guy that i work with and told my aunt, and she went to him and got his number for herself! That really made me mad, what should i do?...

A.   5 August 2008: are you the same age as your aunt?... (read in full...)

My friend asked my to go on a 12 week trip. My husband can cope. Should I go? Will the kids be OK without me?

Q.   Hi, i am just looking for some opinions on the following. I am married, age 30, 2 kids ages 4 and 5. My friend who has travelled alot has asked me if i would like to go on a 12 week round the world trip in march. My kids will be 5 and 6 then and ...

A.   10 July 2008: I think you read all the advice and agreed that 12 weeks is too long. Good decision. Your role as a mom and wife comes first. A short trip is different than 12 weeks especially non work related.... (read in full...)

Should I name this horse 'noid' or not?

Q.   today my girl and i had a very good day laughs and jokes. so after i drop her off at home,she calls me and tells me that she loves me and that she had fun today, about 3 hours later she calls again and says she loves me and thanks me for everything ...

A.   28 May 2008: Sounds like she thanked you for a good time, and is a bit confused when you said if you are going to break up. Maybe you need a bit more clarity in your communication. Stating to her why you thought that, ie when you say take care of myself, I ... (read in full...)

He won't even look at me now... He is a good man, has a loving heart but he is too flirty...this is a teacher I dated!

Q.   I recently dated this teacher of mind. He is still married with kids. We split due to him wanting to reconcile with his wife and that split lead to many more controversy to the point where he almost got sent to prison and fired. But now i still have ...

A.   26 May 2008: Pretty Basic, He's married, wants to be back with his family. Leave him alone. Your friends seem to be giving you good advice.... (read in full...)

What is a single mom's best bet?

Q.   I'm single mom with health issues, my BF wants to buy a house and put my name ONLY on the mortgage and he pays Is this wise? The reason I am having a dilemma: I live in a bad neighborhood, my kids like him, we have been together for 6 years and ...

A.   26 May 2008: Sounds a bit weird. If I was paying a mortgage, I would want my name on the house too. Does he want your name only on the mortgage, or on the deed. Two different things. If you name only on the mortgage, not a good thing, then you are fully ... (read in full...)

How did you proposed or were proposed to?

Q.   I kno there's a lot of married people on dear cupid. So I want to know how did your husband propose to u or guys did your wife ask u. Just curious...

A.   22 May 2008: I was contemplating moving out of home to be closer to school, he did not really want me to as then we would be farther apart, so he came up with, do you want to get married or what! ( I asked what the or what was, but have never found out what) ... (read in full...)

How do I let my boss know I am interested, I am leaving soon!

Q.   I'm a 39 year old woman who has been single for a good few years but always have my share of dates. It is quite rare for me to really like someone because I suppose I have quite unusual taste. I am looking first and foremost for a good person and ...

A.   20 May 2008: You could always give him your number and say if there are any questions about anything you've done and he needs to reach you to feel free to call you!... (read in full...)

Help my bf is going too fast, how do I slow him down!!!! DESPERATE FOR ANSWER

Q.   i am 12 and am dating a 14 year old he is really cool and i like him but he is moving to fast for me weve been together for about 1 week and he already wants to kiss and makeout and maybe even see me naked but says he doesnt want to "ball" me until ...

A.   15 May 2008: too fast, tell, him, if he does not listen dump him. He should not be pressuring you or even talking to you about this stuff!... (read in full...)

We've done nothing but fight for the last few months, should we still go on our anniversary trip to Rome?

Q.   Hey, I don`t know what to do! My girlfriend of one year and myself have done nothing but fight for the last few months. When it`s good it`s great but I am just so unhappy about us clashing all the time. My heart is telling me to just give up. I`m ...

A.   12 May 2008: This is not real estate, location is not the main factor. If you cannot sort it out at home, unlikely to happen in Rome. Have you truly taken the time to talk things out? Maybe time is more of an issue than location. You need to figure out the ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says he doesn't like kids but I have a 4 year od son. Can you advise?

Q.   I need some advice. I have been in a relationship for about a year and half. I love being with him, he is amazing. Although he has met my 4 year old son a few times, I don't like to bring him around because I'm afraid that my son may get attached ...

A.   12 May 2008: You are your son's mother. His needs come first. You cannot stop being his mom. So, any potential BF material has to be ok with that. You already have a child. Someone who tells you they do not like kids, should be an automatic run sign for ... (read in full...)

Should I cancel my trip to see ld boyfriend? he said he is unsure about our future

Q.   Hi. I'm planning a trip to visit my boyfriend he lives in the UK. We have been together for 8yrs but have been long distance for the last three years. My last visit was about a month ago and he told me he is uncertain about us getting married....

A.   12 May 2008: Wow, after that amount of time, you'd think someone would know something. I would have a few more talks before deciding for sure whether to go or not. See what your sense is and if you are not getting a good vibe, cancel the trip!... (read in full...)

I have several marks from cats' claws, people believe I self-harm though! How can I stop them?

Q.   Heya! I have a problem, no i do not self harm dont worry! I have loads of cuts on my arms, from cats claws... and loads of people think i self-harm because of it, i try and explain to them, but they dont listen, what can i do to stop people cal...

A.   29 April 2008: - just declaw the cat= at the vet! people are concerned about you and it is not healthy to keep getting hurt that way as you could end up getting the cuts infected etc. ... (read in full...)

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