A
male
age
30-35,
*oalstopper
writes:I've been out of high school for a year and I had a huge crush on this girl. I never asked her out because she had a boyfriend for the first two years, she also flirts with everyone (how could I trust her) and I had low self confidence. The funny thing is I think she knew. I think she also liked it. She liked the attention. She took my phone and put her number in it. She laughs at pretty much everything I say. She once told me "tell me about your life, I live vicariously through you." I would blush every now and then.I finally got the nerves to tell her by calling her on the last month of the school year asking just to talk with her and there was no response. I then texted her the next day when I didn't see her. She never responded and she hugged her platonic friend right in front of me. I think I might of scared her. When that happened, I realized I had no idea what I am doing about anything. She tried to talk to me but not really. (whenever she tried she was with other people) I figured I should leave her alone and let bygones be bygones and just leave this incident for experience. That was a year ago and there are plenty of girls in college that I like and I have more confidence. I haven't spoken to her in a year and we never actually talked about it. I still think about her daily. I need some help on moving on and should I bother talking to her about what happened? What do you think turned her off? Is there any way I can make this right?
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male
reader, goalstopper +, writes (14 June 2011):
goalstopper is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks. I figured as such. I just needed an outside opinion.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 June 2011):
 Naaaah- let it go, one year has passed, you've got more self confident, met other girls you may like and they may like you back. This IS right the way it is - you avoided getting involved with a girl that only liked the attention and was not into you.
What happened ? Nothing happened, as brutal as it may sound, she was not interested , and she was not under any obligations to be interested just because you had a crush on her. It does not sound to me as if she gave you any particular encouragement, one can see her behaviour as normally laid back and friendly, or if we want to be a bit mean, as intentionally flirty and coquettish - but then, no surprise, since she does this with everybody.
She probably was not physically attracted to you- or you are not her type of man , no matter how great you can be, that's all. She could have handled it a bit more elegantly and compassionately, yes, but- she was a teenager, saying " no thanks " with grace and style is something that you learn in time.
Just put this behind you.. and go ask out one of those pretty college students.
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