A
female
age
,
*ednesday7
writes:Really think im losing the plot !!!!!Ive been married for over 20 years ,Last three years downhill but just grin and bare it .Ive never in 20 years been unfaithful ,Im not blowing my own trumpet but i am classed as attractive but im very low on confidence if men look at me i imagine ive got mascara running down my face. I met a man recently and we shook hands and ive never felt a shock like it .Never met him before and i was with my hubby .Ive met him again with my hubby 5 times now his eyes light up when we meet ,hes always watching me ,nothing has occured naturally but i cannot get him out of my head .Its driving me crazy ive never ever felt like this in my life .What do i do ive no idea how to flirt (totally forgot lol ).I need to know if its mutual but how ? .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Dear Poster
I have read your update;
When it is time to throw in the towel, you will know. You will experience an "aha" moment of clarity as to what you need to do.
If you do make the decision to divorce, be good to yourself. Remember that if your marriage fails, it doesn't mean you are a failure. Some unhealthy relationships are not meant to succeed.
Sometimes people keep trying to make sense out of something that doesn't make sense or can't be solved.
HOWEVER
MOVING ON also means being ready mentally, emotionally and physically. Are you ready?
Herewith some links that might be of assistance to you.
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/romanceafterdivorce/ht/whentodate.htm
Never underestimate the power of flirting.
Nothing is more fun than flirting and nothing helps you connect to another person quicker than being playful. Be charming and delightful, show some vitality. Keep it light and festive, not deep and serious. Keep your mind in the moment and not on the long term goal of falling in love.
This site is full of tips and info on flirting and reading body language.
http://dating.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ/Ya&sdn=dating&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.learnbodylanguage.org%2F
Hope this is of assistance to you.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
A
female
reader, Wednesday7 +, writes (27 September 2008):
Wednesday7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you i believe i know in my heart that i should go ahead ,But i really dont know how to flirt and although my confidence is building as i am healing how do i know this guy likes me ?.True he looks into my eyes and follows me everywhere i am with his eyes ,Smiles lovingly even though he knows im with my hubby?.Im sorry to be a pain especially in my mature years but Pls .I am terrified im reading the signs wrong .
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A
female
reader, Hopeful Romantic  +, writes (27 September 2008):
 If your marriage is that bad, then try to be around the man you fancy as often as possible until the conversation gets brought up. If he doesn't bring it up by the 3rd or 4th time you're around him, you figure out a way to let him know how you feel about him. Once you find that your feelings are mutual, tell your husband you want a divorce, if he asks why - tell him why. (mention how he acted when your granddaughter was ill & how you don't appreciate him disappearing 3 days on end!) Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, Wednesday7 +, writes (27 September 2008):
Wednesday7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much Babs for answering and its my first time on here or any related site but believe me My marriage is over and has been for over 18 mths in my eyes .Yes we still live together but seperate rooms .(My choice )My husband betrayed me not with another person but me personally .I have recently lost my Grandaughter to Cancer we fought for Three years and i lost her nearly One year ago and he in my opinion should have helped me instead he played on my Grieve and totally undermined me .I wouldnt care if he went with women at all he often goes missing for3 days at a time and believe me i really do not care at all .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Dear Poster
Sorry this is not what you will want to hear; BUT you have to be realistic.
I suggest you STOP right where you are; take stock of the situation and think about the consequences;
I don't think you should flirt with this guy or try and find out about his feelings etc;
I suggest you have a look at what is happening in your marriage; how can you get that back on track; don't start playing with fire; somebody will get hurt; I am sure your husband will not be happy about this and you are not going to be able to keep this a secret;
I URGE you;
if your marriage is important to you; pay attention to your marital problems and find solutions for it; breath some new "life" and excitement into your marriage; start flirting with your husband again;
Don't start something with this guy that you might intend innocent but that may become a problem and that can cause and create lots of hurt and problems. Yes, it might seem very exciting and you might have no intentions to cheat, but don't tempt fate.
Okay so you enjoyed the moment but let it be; forget about it and try and FOCUS on your marriage. Don't pursue this;
As for your self confidence; well I am sure this experience gave you a boost and there is no reason why you should not be enjoying the moment but don't read more into and don't let it play mind games with you;
I repeat: if your marriage is important to you; STOP, nip this in the bud now! Don't create a situation that you might regret later.
Pay attention to your marriage; THE RED LIGHTS ARE FLASHING
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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