A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife started talking to an old boy friend they wound up together and we wound up seperated. I was going through radiation treatments and real sick. We r back together but it is still hurting our relationship... would like to hear comments about what to do from here.... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (2 August 2012):
Be clearer on what the problem is exactly. You don’t have to post it back to us if you don’t wish (though we could probably advise you better if you did), but you need to figure this out for yourself. Are you angry? Do you feel let down by her? Or can you not get over a sense of betrayal? Or is your problem insecurity, because if she’s done this to you once it could happen again? Determining what the sources of your anxiety are is the first step to fixing this marriage. Also, do you think you have been making progress so far and do you still feel that you are? No matter what the issues are, this is going to take time and you need to be prepared for that. Furthermore, you shouldn’t bottle your feelings up but share them with your wife. Even if they’re not what you think she wants to hear, she should hear them. She left you, she has to take responsibility for that and realise that if your marriage is going to recover there will be some uncomfortable bumps along the way and it will take a lot of effort from both of you. A counsellor may be able to help you both have those difficult conversations and communicate your feelings to each other, so look in to that.
I wish you all the very best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): To be honest, I wouldn't give her the time of day if I was in your shoes.
To quote a marriage vow - "To love, honour and cherish, through sickness and through health"
She bailed out on you at a time you needed her the most, that should tell you all you need to know to decide what to do next my friend.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (2 August 2012):
 It's still hurting because:
She still wants to be with him?
You cannot forgive her?
Can you give more info?
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