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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have a crush on my mum's cousin,who is eight years older than me.I dont know what to do.He doesnt live near me now,he used to,although i dont know him very well since i havent seen him much in my whole life,so because of that,it doesnt feel like he is related,even though he is.He has asked me if i had a boyfriend a couple of times,and once he danced with me at a party and also bought me a drink.He has said i am beautiful,and really good looking before,once he kept winking at me,has smiled at me when he has walked passed me and kept looking till he had gone passed me,and once,he even wanted me to sneak off with him to his house and not tell my family where i was going,as he thought they would think i was going out with him.He also didnt want me to tell this other guy who liked me that we were gonna hang around with each other.I didnt go with him then though,as i was worried about my family finding out i had gone somewhere without telling them.I regret not going with him now,as i might never find out what could have happened,and might never get another opportunity.Sometimes though,i have asked him if he wanted to meet up,and he hasnt responded.Sometimes he comes up here for christmas,i'm hoping he will this year,but the only way i would see him is if i bump into him somewhere,which might not be likely,since i wont know where he is or at what time,or if i send him a message on a website we are both intouch on,or if he sends me a message asking to meet up.I dont want to ask him though because of what's happened before when i have asked him.He is absolutely gorgeous,and a lovely person !.I have been out with other guys aswell,but i think of him sometimes too.Do you think he could have felt the same way ?.I'm from the U.K,by the way,so here,it is legal to go out with a cousin,or first cousin once removed,i think that's what we are to each other.I even told him once that it was legal,after he said our family would think we were going out with each other,and he said i know.Not sure why he said that.If i think of anything else that happened,i'll add it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): Thanks for your reply.I last saw him three years ago,and last time i saw him was when he wanted me to sneak off with him.Since then,i found him on one social networking site,and he asked me if i had msn messenger,we chatted on there for a while in general,he asked how my parents and brother were and after a while he said he had to go.He didnt get one message i sent him on that website,which was asking to meet up last christmas,until afew months ago.He hadnt logged into that website for along time,so thats why he didnt see it sooner.However,he didnt respond to that message,but that could have been because he had seen it so late.I found him on another website,this was more recently,it was earlier this year,and on both of these websites,he added me to his page as a friend first.Once i was online at the same time as him,and he sent me a message asking how i was,on the online chat.I chatted to him in general about where i had been and where i liked going,asked how his parents were,and i said it was good to hear from him,and he said the same about me.But,after a while,he jsut went offline without saying he was going,which i thought was quite rude,to be honest.
So,he knows i have been interested in meeting up with him in the past,so if he wanted to,he could easily get intouch with me before this christmas,we are both very active on the site we are intouch on now,i havent spoken to him on this website since the conversation i just mentioned,but you can see when people have logged in,so i know he still goes on it.I'm not going to ask him anything any more ,or have a conversation with him unless he does with me first.I've tried my best before,and i cant do more than i have.If i ever saw him again,i'm not sure whether to tell him how i feel about him or not,and how he made me feel when he didnt respond.I think either he doesnt have a clue how much i like him,and how that upset me,or he does know,but like you said,he was only interested in one thing,and perhaps he fancied me before,but doesnt know if he still does now.I'm not sure.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): I would be careful. While I personally don't find anything wrong with you two dating he might be questioning it. I've been in a situation where I was torn between liking a girl and thinking that it was inappropriate for me to be with her. Looking back it wasn't true love for me. It was something that was pretty mild and happened mostly because she was very interested in me and I was sexually frustrated at the time. That's not to say that your situation isn't different, but he might be reconsidering things due to the social stigma that would be attached to you two being together. If you really care about him in that way then by all means give it a shot. It is possible he feels the same way. But I would proceed with extreme caution, and I would make every effort to take it slowly so as to not fall for someone who isn't really in love with you.Best of luck, I hope it all works out well
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