A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would consider myself a typically nice guy. Nice, defined as I like doing things for others, but I don't let them tread all over me either. I also would not consider my self confidence low. And yet still, I have the hardest time getting dates. After so many "try, try agains," I am somewhat puzzled. I'm not studly, but not horrible looking either. I've tried the nice girls, church girls, mean girls, girls in different countries...no dice. What the heck is wrong? I've never felt more that nice guys finish last than right now...
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female
reader, Spiffeh..  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 How do you ask them out? As in what do you say? Mail me =] x
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 As a nice guy, you only address SOME of the emotional needs of women, which is why they "like you enough to be friends", but you are not addressing all the emotional needs of women, which would make them feel love for you.
I did a lecture on exactly this topic called: From Friends To Lovers: Stop Being Her Emotional Cookie Man.
You are currently in the category of her brain that makes her see you as a friend. She will never date you until you change that.
1-Don't become her therapist no matter how much you like her
2-Learn about her emotional needs, and how to address them
Once you have learned about her emotional needs and how to address them..
let her back into your life and make her your girlfriend.
You are trying to logically prove to her she should date you, and this is EMOTIONAL decision.
You can read reviews of my lecture that has the steps and information you need: http://www.lulu.com/content/2440004
-Frank B Kermit
Author of From Friends To Lovers
http://www.lulu.com/content/2440004
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (11 August 2008):
 The opposite of success is quitting, not failure. If having a date is your goal, try again and again and again.
Don't look at a woman and think thats the only thing that could make you happy. Don't put her "up there" and you "down here".
Treat the one that you care about exactly like you would with the others. Be indifferent besides them, like "I'm either with you tonight or with somebody else" attitude you know.
When I go to clubs/out, most of the time I don't even go to see girls, they come to me. I look at them with a smile and treat them like any other.
I think it's because that by doing the "trying to make you special" treatment they see it as if you only want them for their body not for who they really are you know. By treating them like any other, they tell them self "Ok he doesn't seem to be in to me all that much for my body, maybe if I show him who I am it's he'll like it."
That's just me, and it's based on personal experience. Hope it helps!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (11 August 2008):
Well you don't tell us how you are trying to get dates so we can't tell you what you are doing wrong.
Do you have any female friends? Ask them to give a brutally honest critique of what you are doing wrong. Tell them how you've asked girls out and get them to give you pointers.
It could just be that you are seeming needy, or that you leave it too long so they see you as a friend rather than a date, or that they can see they are just the latest in a long line of girls you've asked out.
Good Luck!! xx
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