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What could have possibly gone wrong? Is it me or the circumstances?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 February 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 13 February 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *auseaPunk writes:

Hello i'm going toi keep this question short as this is probobly the best policy,

Ihave been in a sexual monogamous long distance relationship for just over 2 years, however my gf has broken up with me because 'she feels that the relationship was becoming too serious and she feels too young' 'she feels trapped in the relationship and she wants to go out with her friends with out thinking about me and what my opionion of matters would be' 'that she wants to meet new people in life and go places and have an open relationship and get along with her student life'

can someone please tell me how you would interpret this? is it because of me? or is it just a matter of bad circumstances, its come as a nasty shock. i'm quite inexperianced with other peoples relationships so i would like some advice.

View related questions: long distance, trapped

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2012):

As the great Ted Mosby once said "Long distance relationships don't work"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012):

I think it would be to do with the circumstances. You say it is a LDR which is difficult and not everybody's cup of tea.

The worst thing you can do though if she is feeling like this would be to pressure her. Don't keep calling, or texting because you will just push her further away.

Call her once, just to ask her what exactly does she want, and where does she see the relationship going? If she isn't ready, you'll have to accept that both of you want different things and therefore not compatible with each other.

Only she can provide you with those answers. Then it will put your mind at rest and you can move on either one way or the other.

Good luck.x

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (10 February 2012):

chigirl agony auntIn this case it's not you, it's her. I actually think this is a case of a person not willing or interested to be in a relationship, because that can happen! It's not just a phrase like so many people use. Of course there will be those who excuse themselves with these reasons, but in this case I think it is true. She is young, and she wants to be free. She isn't ready to settle down. Had you met her maybe 5 years from now and started a relationship then she probably would have wanted to move things forward, but at this time and age she doesn't want what you have to offer: a serious and stable relationship with an equally serious and stable life.

But do not worry too much. There are still tons of women out there who DO want a serious relationship at your age. This one just wasn't one of them.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 February 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIt's not because of you. it's circumstance... you are young and apart...

relationships are hard enough when you are close

LDRs are harder

LDRS when you are in college or college age.. nearly impossible.

BE thankful she has enough respect for you and cares enough about you to be honest about it up front and before the situation gets hurtful...

wish her well and let her go....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012):

Its not you! Is her ... I did the same to my ex because 1. I saw no future with him and being tied down to sOemone at such young age is not smart and two because I missed the feeling of guys flirting with me and I got sick of telling people my bf was on another city and 3. I had lready met someone else . My advice : move on it wasn't yOu LDRs are like that.

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