A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm falling for my sex buddy who has a girlfriend and I don't want to end it because I enjoy the sex so much and the idea of telling him is awful because I come across so strong minded and kinky, what can I do to see him as just a buddy and not get attached?
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female
reader, Vixen_The_Vampyre  +, writes (8 September 2007):
 I have so been there...and yes it sucks. For me it started out as this great unattached sex....I mean freaky, kinky & mindblowing with this guy. Somewhere along the lines I fell for this guy...HARD. I told him how I felt & luckily it didnt mess up things, he actually said he didnt want to hurt me & that while he did care about me very much & would always be there if I needed he did have a GF. Time passed (1.5 years) and he eventually split with his GF & I was single but things never cane to pass....we never got together. We still mess about as we always did, I still carry a torch for him but I know I will never be with him and accepting that is a choice I had to make. I suppose for me the most important thing is what I do with him does not in any way stop me from seeking the right man for me even though I wish it was him.
So I guess the real thing here is, perhaps you need to see what else is out there and see if you can find someone that makes you happy like he does...but even more so. In that I mean....no lonely nights, no weekends without him, no being second in line. Its hard, I know....& the heart wants what the heart wants but no matter how much you feel for him & what your heart wants, he will only feel what his heart tells him to feel.
Huggs to you, you are in a hard place to be hun.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (6 September 2007):
 Once you start to have sex with someone there's always the fear of an emotional attachement, it's inevitable, more so for women. My advice to you is DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM, PERIOD!
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): get out! this relationship is destructive, to you! your just going to feel insecure all the time worrying about who he is going to choose, competing, all the while he is getting his cake and eat it. sever all ties and move on.. use your wonderfull personality and kinkiness with someone who give it back to you 100%
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A
female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (6 September 2007):
I have honestly been in your postion and i was the one left hurt. I really do think us girls get attached to people we have sex with whether we like it or not.Tell him how you feel, it will make you feel better but i aint guranteeing that you wont get hurt. Who knows he might feel the same way.But do you really want someone who can easily cheat on his girlfriend like thatYou could and will do so much better than him
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A
female
reader, stawberry01 +, writes (6 September 2007):
 hiIf you are being coming attached you should do what best suits you but if he already has a girlfriend then its not fair as it seems he just wants sex and nothing eles dont let yourself get to close and you end up hurting yourself because you didnt end it.xx
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (6 September 2007):
 Women have this habit of falling for people they're intimate with. If you continue to be intimate with him, you will only fall further.
Either come clean with him and hope he prefers you to his girlfriend, or cut him off cold turkey and let your heart heal. If you continue with the middle of the road you will suffer, and probably hurt him and his girlfriend in the process.
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