A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had this friend that I was really close to a while ago. We're both in college and used to go to the same school but now, shes moved away. I wont go into details but one night, we went to a party. I was upset that my bf cheated on me and got really drunk and started getting sick, so one of the guys took care of me...and I definitely got taken advantage of because i was drunk! I then found out that all of the guys were calling me a whore and my friend didnt even stand up for me. After that, i didnt trust her anymore and we drifted apart.. Now im living in a house with all girls and all of my roomates are like in love with her. I really dont have that much in common with them as they are all really loud, immature, and gossip every second. She's coming up soon and gonna stay at our house for a couple of days. I cant handle seeing her again and I was gonna go visit my friend and stay with her for the weekend but she says shes busy then. What can I do to avoid her? I really dont know that many people here and I dont have a car. Where can I go or what can I do by myself for the whole weekend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice on what to do Irish49, but i want nothing to do with this girl. she is loud, obnoxious and very shallow. yes, i do take some responsibily for what happened that night but come on, i had NO IDEA what was happening, as i was throwing up and my head was spinning like crazy. maybe i should have mentioned that she kept going back to that guys house, even went to his birthday party and wanted ME to apologize to him. and fyi i havent had a sip of alcohol since that night.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): No this girl is not your friend and it's likely after you got drunk and had sex with some guy, she certainly had some glaring self-doubts about your character, as well. Sounds harsh I know but I want you to see it from the other side. Truely, it sounds like you merely putting the accountability of your own regretfully, drunken behaviours, onto her shoulders. I am really thinking here, she was embarrassed. I don't know what you can do to avoid her when she comes. Do something that helps yourself and is constructive. If you are in college, this might be good weekend to go to the campus library and study like crazy. If anything you can prove to yourself, is that you can ace the courses and get excellent marks!? I think you need to do something like to build up your self-esteem and retain that positive life attitude and not make others 'shoulder the blame' for your mistakes. And when you see this friend, sometime, smile and greet her with graciousness. She did nothing wrong by not standing up for you. Getting drunk is not an excuse to behave badly and allow yourself to get in these compromising situations. She knew it at the time and chose to remain 'quiet andf mute' on the subject. That alone is usually a good indicator that she was not pleased with your behavior as well, and she disconnected. Learn from this and stop drinking, altogether, if you can't handle the alcohol. You just learned there are unscrupulous people that will take advantage of situations. Think about living a life without less alcohol and using a mature self-retraint, in the future...it helps one think with more clarity and common sense Take care of yourself, out there, dear and don't be so angry at this friend. Try to see it from her point of view.
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