A
male
age
41-50,
*armaguy
writes:I met somebody from an online dating site. We went to a starbucks near where she lived. There was background music playing and I couldn't hear her properly because she was speaking very softly ( I didn't like her that much, so won't be seeing her again, but i believe our conversation could be better if we had chosen a quieter place )So what are good suggestions for quieter 1st and 2nd dates other than lunch/dinner at some decent restaurant.Thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 December 2012):
 Ditto on what SVC said about the Mall idea.... If I was 16 I might be impressed...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): It depends on the woman.
I'm not a very materialistic woman. I can take myself out to wow myself and don't need a man to do that for me. In a long term dating relationship- different story. That is what Fridays are for, even then, there is no need for glitzy every week.
To a woman like me, introverted and prefers more quiet locales; your version of a meet and chat to get to know one another is more my speed.
Ask her what her favourite places to go are. Bookstores? Museums? Indoor gardens? Zoo? Those also are my favourite places to hang to recharge, reflect, and stir up my scientific/brainer side.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2012):
 I have to say when I was a younger woman a date to go to the mall and get coffee and walk around would not have impressed me at all....
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A
male
reader, karmaguy +, writes (28 December 2012):
karmaguy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI liked all the answers, especially by "So_Very_Confused" about turning down the music or going to a quieter diner for coffee.
How about grabbing coffee in a mall and then walking the mall while talking or sitting at those comfy sofas in the mall and talking there. That way you get the coffee, you don't come across as if you are on a date and you get to talk as well.
I would love to know your viewpoint.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 December 2012):
Coffee is always good... you could have asked them to turn the music down a bit... we've done that at places when they have zones they don't realize that some zones get too loud with settings that work for other zones.
You could go to a quieter coffee shop or a diner for coffee
museums are nice.. or local places of historic value and in nice weather this could be an outdoor activity
anything where you can talk is good.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 December 2012):
I think a coffee place is great for the first date, though I would try and find a quieter one. Lunch/dinner is more of a second date for me.
First date, you just want to see if there is any chemistry and common things that will lead to a second date.The whole point of making it coffee the first date is so that if either of you don't feel a "click" it's easy forgotten - so to speak.
I do agree with Crystalxo - doing something a little out of the box for a 2rd and 3rd date is a great way to spend time with someone who still is a stranger.
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A
female
reader, _crystalxo  +, writes (26 December 2012):
movies and dinners are very typical and expected. it does not give you the chance to talk much either because you'll either be too busy eating, or watching the movie. try something out of the box. google any seasonal fairs or something as small as mini-golf. it gives a chance for you guys to talk and even be a little playful. Good luck on your dates!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012): a coffee place is great but if you have a chance, chose another coffee place then the starbuck. Somewhere local, a little more intimate.
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