A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years. I'm 18 years old and he's 20. Lately I'm starting to realise just how long that is. I mean, 5 years! That was my whole teenage life! Anyway, I keep having doubts like this about our relationship, because I feel like it's all become too 'familiar'. The only trouble is I feel like I'm in too deep already to break up with him. He's so in love with me, he's constantly telling me things like "I can't imagine my life without you", "If I ever lost you I'd drop out of uni and my life would be over" etc and it makes me feel so bad about even considering ending it. I care for him so much, I don't want to break his heart. I love him very much, but I'm starting to think it's just because I'm so used to loving him, I'm so used to just being his girlfriend. But after 5 years of being with him, of having the safety and security of him, I don't know how I'd cope alone. To add to this, over the last month or so I've become very close to a friend of mine, and I can't get him out of my mind. I know he likes me too. Please, what should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): Dear Poster
I suggest you have a very calm and sincere heart to heart talk with your boyfriend. Be open and honest, tell him that you don't want to hurt him, how much you value him etc; however explain that you feel you both need a break; you both need to meet other people and go out with other people; it might hurt him a little but I am sure if you explain it all very nicely, it will lessen the pain and do remain friends even if just for a short while. See what happens with time; how things develop over a period of 2 or 3 months.
You might discover that you want him back sooner then what you expect or you might find that you are enjoying meeting others;
This will not be easy to explain to him and he will probably play on your emotions; but do not allow emotional blackmail to keep you with him.
Be strong, best wishes and lots of SMILES.
A
female
reader, bon +, writes (11 September 2008):
well first of all u need to let him know either way how u are feeling. he is going to be hurt but he will be even more hurt if he finds out that u are seeing somebody else. it is your life and he will be fine! if you feel this unhappy then you are only making things worse for yourself by prolonging it. come clean and be strong. good luck
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