A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 15 years and, like most relationships the physical side of it has dwindled over the years. However we have always had a very loving and close relationship and always enjoy being together.This year has been hell for us though with many distractions meaning that we have neglected our relationship, probably because it's always been so strong we've wrongly thought that we didn't have to always try. The distractions have included nearly losing our beloved dog (we decided not to have children, so he's our baby), my mum being diagnosed with terminal cancer and both of us facing uncertainty around our job security.A month ago I overheard him on the phone and guessed that he was speaking with another woman. It turns out that he has been speaking/texting this woman and has met her for coffee and a drink but he swears that that was all, and that they never had sex. I believe him and agreed that we could overcome this daliance but ever since he's become very distant and very cold towards me.He tells me that he still loves me so very much and wants us to stay together forever but his physical feelings towards me and the spark in our relationship have gone. He says he's trying to get them back but we just seem to be on a downward spiral. I have even suggested that we just call it a day and go our seperate ways but he won't agree to this, saying that he wants to make this work.I'm so confused because he is no longer the same person that I've spend the last 15years with and I starting to get scared that we just won't be able to get things back on track.......what can I do to get his feelings back for me?
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female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (13 November 2008):
 Just try and get him to open up more. Romantic meals, just a night watching a movie...if you start talking maybe he'll start telling you about how he feels and everything, I mean I know he's already said he loves you so much and he wants it to work but it doesn't actually sound like he's trying to do anything to help make it happen. Ask him if he can seriously see you both together in a future. Doing things together, even just a stupid walk in the park, maybe with your dog will help you both. Get away on a mini-holiday or somewhere, go to Blackpool or someplace, stay in a cosy hotel and enjoy the time together. Relax and try and bring back the 'spark' :)
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