A
male
age
30-35,
*ndy00
writes:Hi everybody, it's Andy.I'm in a slightly uncomfortable situation. I know in the past I have posted questions regarding my ex-girlfriend, and how I feel like love will not come my way for a long time, but it's questions like this one that will probably make you wonder why I worry...Here's the thing.A couple of years back, a South African guy starting working with my Dad. They became good friends, and he became a good friend of our family. Little over a year ago, his younger sister (25) came over from South Africa. She too has become good friends with the family. But I'm afraid that's where things get a little complicated.You see, she isn't really the type of girl who goes out anywhere. She doesn't really have any friends aside from myself and my family. Over the past few months, it became apparent that she is interested in me. When I found out about this, I wasn't interested in her, because I considered that if things didn't work out, it might make things awkward for her brother and my Dad at work. That and, if it didn't work, she has the possibility of losing the only friends she's got.Recently, she's been messaging me things like "I love you as a friend", and things like "I wish something could happen" ect, so she is still quite interested in being with me. Unfortunately for her, as much as she's a nice person, I just don't see her that way. She is difficult to keep a conversation flowing with and, considering her age, she seems awfully young.Tomorrow night, she and her brother are coming round our house for dinner. They have done this once before after it became clear she liked me and it seemed to go okay. I just wonder if anybody can give me some tips on what to do to show her that I'm a friend and nothing more than that. I don't want to lead her on, of course.I feel fine about the way I act with her, because I really don't think I'm showing her signs that I'm interested, but any help you guys can give me would be appreciated.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 December 2007):
 I'm fully with Dearkelja. She is JUST RIGHT. When it comes to love, you need clear signs, clear words, solid ground to step on, whether it's good or bad news. You need to know what comes next, what to expect. If you just see her as a friend, then tell her exactly that. Dearkelja has given you the best advice possible.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (23 December 2007):
 I've been on the other side of this. What I wish the guy had done is not led me on in any way or sent me mixed signals. I wish he had just been honest. I'm sure it's hard to go up to someone and say "well I know you're in love with me but you should know I don't feel that way about you." Probably why people avoid it. Makes you look like you're full of yourself.
Honestly, the best way to handle this is to say to her that you get the feeling from her text messages that she is looking to take things beyond a friendship. You could say that you don't have feelings for her beyond friendship. This should be all you need to say. If you truly value her friendship then these words will be the kindest words you could say.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): I think you should talk to her about it. It can't be anymore ackward then it already is. Or you can bring a date so that she knows that your not interested in her.
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