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female
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anonymous
writes: Basically I'm 18 and having my first relationship but my mum keeps calling me a slut and saying that she just knows I'll end up pregnant. I'm very upset because I love my b/f so much and he's so kind and sweet and now I feel like I'm going to have to break it off because I'm sick of being called names when I'm still a virgin. I feel like I won't be able to have sex with him for fear of my mums words becoming true. It scares me. Me and my b/f have talked about it and have said we will definitely use condoms but I think they may not be enough but I don't want to go on the pill or anything like that as I hate taking tablets and don't like the sound of any of the other methods of contraception - will condoms be enough? I'm really scared because I don't want a baby! Help!
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condom, still a virgin, the pill, want a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (15 January 2006):
 I've read that condoms, when coupled with withdrawal, are nearly 99% effective. Basically, the guy wears a condom the entire time (from start to finish!), but he withdraws his penis from the vagina before he ejaculates. I'm not sure how necessary this is, but I guess it would help if you were worried about the possibility of a broken condom.
Your mom sounds a lot like mine. Try not to let her get to you too much! You know you're no slut.
A
female
reader, Legendless +, writes (14 January 2006):
I guess I'll agree with what most others have sad thus far, about how unfair it is that your mother is calling you a slut and about how condoms are 97-98% effective. However, using birth control together with condoms will assure over a 99% chance that you will not get pregnant. I know you said that you don't like to take tablets, but birth control pills are VERY small. You probably wouldn't even need water to swallow it, it is so small. If you were to take the birth control, I know it would set your mind at ease a little more.
There are also other benefits to using birth control, such as much more strictly regulated periods (you will probably know the exact days that you will get and end your period), and the hormones in the pills help to prevent acne blemishes. I hope this helped.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (13 January 2006):
 I actually googled this. Condom failure rates are typically quoted at somewhere between 2-3% which means they are 97-98% effective. Looking at those statistics realistically the chances of becoming pregant, assuming the condom is properly used (failure rates for inproperly used condoms go up to 12%) are stattistically infintesimal.
I would say you need to confront your mothers attitude now because it is hardly likely to change later in life if you are 18 now. If you break it off then it will probably make you very unhappy and in the long run will fester as resentment towards your mother. Be assertive that you are old enough to make up your own mind but also reassure her you are taking precautions. Hopefully she will see that you are behaving like a responsible adult and stop calling you names. Hope things go well for you.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Jeez your Mom has some serious issues.
Ignore her. Calling her daugher a slut? Outrageous.
Yes condoms, used properly, are very very safe. If you have a mis-hap you have other avenues available such as the morning-after pill.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2006): First off,its not very nice for your Mum to be calling you a slut! Your Mum should respect that you are old enough to make your own decisions. After all you are an adult now! I would suggest that along with the condoms you use a spermicidal foam. This is an easy to use method. The foam comes with its own applicator and you fill it, and then it is inserted into the vagina about 20 minutes prior to intercourse. This way if the condom does break the foam will kill any sperm. It is fairly inexspnsive and is a good back-up incase the condom were to break.
Have fun hun! ;)
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A
male
reader, PuPuHawkins +, writes (13 January 2006):
hey, erm well me and my ex girlfriend were in a loving relationship. we was both virgins till we had each other and at first we only used condoms and then she started to take the pill due to other reasons but as far as i know shes not pregnant.... so id say yes they are safe enough on there own.. but make sure you put them on right and that they dont brake hope this helps
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