A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi My husband thinks I am a sex addict and it is making me feel paranoid. We have been married for a year and have sex about once every week and a half to two weeks. He says he is attracted me, but we barely have it. The only time we do is when I approach him. At least one out of five times that we do he falls asleep in the middle of it or when we are starting to have it. I am feeling so awful and insecure. Any advice??
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (15 February 2010):
 You're no more of a sex addict than I was when I wanted it at least weekly with an ex that didn't feel the same. It's just mismatched libido. But if you're in your 40s (when a woman's hormones have just recently peaked) and if he's a similar age (given that men peak around 20), you're on the upswing and he's dropping off. If he's NEVER had much of an appetite for sex, he's not likely to change and you're left with strontiumdog's three choices. If he used to be very eager when he was younger but his desire is much lower now, it may be a medical issue or just a hormone issue. Testosterone shots could help, but would be up to his doctor.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 February 2010):
This might be a medical problem. Maybe he should see a doctor.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010): Before my husband found out he was diabetic he was falling asleep not during sex thankfullly! but really early in the evening, so I do think you should get him to go to the doctors just to get things checked out.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (15 February 2010):
I don't think this has anything to do with you. It sounds as though he is suffering from Erectile Dysfunction but is ashamed to admit it. Yet on the other hand, now that you are in your 40's you are in your sexual peak period, so your appetites are mismatched. Is your man healthy? As in: his waist less than 36", he does at least 2 hours of exercise per week, eats a low cholesterol high fibre diet, not on meds for blood pressure or diabetes?
I think his falling asleep might be a pretence (hell, I've used this trick myself when I didn't want my man to touch me) and my advice is try get him in the morning instead when he is rested and hasn't spent all day working and is tired. Also review his medical condition and possibly get him to seek help; maybe all the doc will give him is a prescription of Viagra or perhaps a medical condition might be discovered. All the best.
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