A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I have been dating a guy for nearly 9 months now and everything was going well until approximately three months ago. He calls/texts me less i.e never and we haven't been out together for those three months. Granted we were both bust with our own work commitments for the first couple of months.We have discussed marriage extensively, and both of us agreed that marriage was our intention and we are basically getting to know each other through this 9 month period. A few months ago I was unsure where we were at in our relationship and therefore I asked him what was going on and everything was well. What I need help with from you guys is what do I do now? I am going crazy thinking its over, due to his behaviour but he hasnt actually told me this and I would like to think he would. The last conversation we had a month ago consisted of him saying it was 'too premature' to talk about 'in laws etc' so am I right to think its over or should I take it at face value and think its just too premature and there is still something left to salvage, and if so should I just swallow my pride and ask him?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 August 2012):
 It's over...
talking about marriage is just that TALK... I talked about marriage with high school boyfriends...
you had a conversation a month ago and he made it clear that you both had jumped the gun and he was uncomfortable with the marriage concept with you....
it's been a month.... if he was still interested you would know.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 August 2012):
 Why not pick up the phone and call him (no texing) CALL.
Personally, I would assume a relationship to be over if there is absolutely no contact for a month, no matter how busy, ANYONE can take 2 minutes to call their loved one and talk, or drop a line over e-mail.
Are you two in a LDR or live in the same area?
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (22 August 2012):
 It is probably too premature for you to talk about any of this. You've known the guy for 9 months. While this is a long time for some people, for others you are just now really getting to know one another. If you're interested in being with him, you need to call him and tell him you are sorry for getting so serious right away, and you would still like to see him. Ask if he'd like to go grab something to eat and see a movie or something. You can't just not talk to someone you care about for a month. Put away your pride and make the first move. Usually guys are upfront, so when he says it's "premature" then he thinks you are rushing things. It's not over, but you need to back off.
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