A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A few months back I caught my husband looking at porn on his tablet. he was also working away from home during the week and weekend all his underwear has cum stains in. we had lots of arguments bout this. now he is back home and for a long time his undies were clean. until about two weeks ago I started seeing the same stains. he insists that he is not looking at porn?? we also hardly have sex. we have a good relationship and seldom have arguments. so I do not understand why we have so little sex. I am longing to be treated like a woman and be loved. when we have sex it is un romantic and over in a minute or two. please give me your thoughts.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 May 2016):
 Get a babysitter and go away for the weekend
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the reply, I am trying to make peace with the fact, and yes I am probably a bit insecure. how do I get over this. i try and get on to him but then he says not now or later and then eventually days go by and still nothing. i think this is what is making me insecure. we have a daughter of 8yrs old so it is really difficult to spice things up. any suggestions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2016): I'm a woman and I look at porn sometimes. Personally I don't see it as a problem in a relationship. Visual stimulation gets me in the mood to have sex with my partner. He knows that I look at it and is ok with it. Porn is not about wanting to cheat or being uninterested in a partner. If a man, or indeed a woman wants to masturbate I believe they have every right to do so. It's natural. Maybe his porn browsing makes you feel insecure and that is why you're against it?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 May 2016):
Okay first off if he is wanting to look at porn, that is his right and he should be able to do that. Checking his underwear is taking things a bit to far in my opinion.
Now what you should be annoyed at is the fact he is not making an effort in the bedroom. Have you tried coming on to him? Dressing up and adding new things to the bedroom? It cannot harm to try. There could be a thousand reasons why he is not wanting sex, but you need to both try to add spice back to the bedroom.
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