| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm 21 and have been with my bf for a year now. He's 23 and we're very much in love.This week we decided to make love with each other. I had never been with anyone, however he's had about 5 partners before me. We had discussed sex before and i told him that i wanted my first time to be really special and romantic and he was always willing to wait for me.Anyway, we decided to have sex and right before he made me wait in the bathroom for about 5 minutes. he made me come out with my eyes closed and when i opened them there were a dozen candles and red and white rose pedals laid on the bed. I should mention we were in a hotel room as we were on vacation, so he had planned on making it really special for me if i felt the time was right. Anyway, i was so surprised that he did this for me and it was so sweet that he wanted to make my first time perfect.We had sex, but all the while through it was not enjoyable for me. We kept switching positions and alternating but nothing we did felt good for me. He orgasmed, not me, and afterwards he felt so badly for not making my first time what i had hoped it would be. I didn't want to lie to him and fake an orgasm bc i know that will get me nowhere. He kept saying that it was his fault and maybe he was bad in bed and i kept reassuring him it was me bc maybe i was nervous or not turned on enough. We tried it again, same thing happened. After a couple more times it was better but no fireworks or anything.Do you think that the sex will get better eventually, because i really want to be with him but its disapointing. We're very open about sex and we tell each other what we kinda like, but for some reason it wasnt great. I actually was disappointed that my first time wasn't spectacular, and i really want to make it great with my bf in the future.Any advice? thanks so much!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 Trust me, until you've had sex a few times it isn't going to feel amazing. It's the same for every new couple. You're just not sure how to please each other until you're used to each others bodies and pleasure spots. That will come in time. Plus, in your case you had the pressure of being a virgin and all the nerves etc that come along with that so it's no wonder you didn't see fireworks! Keep having sex and make sure you spend lots of time experimenting. Tell him when it feels really good when he touches you there or ask him what feels good to him. Once you're more in sync with each other itll be fantastic. Hope this helps.
CD
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): Your first time sounded very special and i wish mine was made as special as that. this man obviously truely loves you or he would not have waited and tried so hard to make is special. the first time is never pleasurable someties it really hurts. pleasure will come with experience with each other. i suggest little sexy games to find out what you both enjoy even if it just starts with foreplay thn leads to sex or sex without foreplay. you need to experiment to find what is right for both of you. it comes in time. trust me it took me and y b/f 4/5 month before we really ebjoyed sex together.. and once you find what you both like. sex with your partner should be fantastic!take carex
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A
female
reader, scared16 +, writes (17 December 2006):
 the first time never lives up 2 wot people say it is lyk. as you continue to have sex it will get better n better as you learn wot each lyks n explore different aspects. soon it will b gr8! i promise! talking from past experience! x x x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (15 December 2006):
 Like the people who have answered before me, I assure you it will get better. The more you get to know each other sexually, the better it will get. My first times (with the guy I'm still with now a year & a half later) were awkward and a little painful. He had plenty of experience, but each girl is different.
It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a great and open relationship, and that will be great for your sex life. And don't hesitate to bring TOYS in! Vibrators are great additions to the bedroom - they're not JUST for women, you know. Men can dig them too.
Anyhow, give it some time and it will get better. With proper communication, a good attitude and openness to new things, it absolutely will.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): Yes, I think sex will get better as you two openly communicate with each other with how it feels, what makes it tingle for you, etc. So long as he's willing and so long as you're patient. Plus, in many cases, the first time usually isn't that great for girls - to my knowledge, unless the guy is really good at what he does - and experienced doesn't necessarily mean s/he's good.
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