A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I meet my boyfriend online almost a year ago.He was stationed at that time in Afghanistan and it was a rough time for the both of us. Waiting 9 months. I supported him all this time with letters, packages etc. We became closer and I started to fall in love with him. After the deployment he invited me to Gulfport and we got engaged there. All this time we talked about how nice our relationship will be and he said when I come to Germany we will get married. I was so happy finally found that one. A few more months passed and he shipped two large boxes with personal stuff to Germany and also other personal things. He also quit his job and said good bye to his familly. He finally arrived here in Germany and I was very happy. But the man could not show love or affection. I thought that he has serious PTSD. I was so full of expectations and nothing of all my dreams came true. He was cold like a dog nose. We argued a lot.He was also depressed most of the time and I got really frustrated. Then we also spend a lot of his money buying this and that for the house. I really thought he wanted to settle down in Germany. But the only thing he said to me I have to find a job and applied for an overseas contractor online. They called him after a few days and invited him for an interview. I cannot write about all the details but then he left after almost a month back to the states. I called him because I did not hear from him in a few days. He broke up with me on the phone and said that we dont fit.Now I am here and feel like trash. All the dreams and hopes broken. I feel alone and hurt. I miss him so much but nobody calls.And when I call him he is rude to me on the phone.I dont understand. My familly loved him. We had a good time. Besides the few arguments we had. Please give me some advice how to deal with this situation. Also I do love America very much and it was my dream to live there. Now all my dreams are shattered. Help me I miss him so deeply and I feel so lonely.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 October 2011):
 You can't do anything to get him back sadly.
IF he will not address his PTSD he is not stable and not willing to do the work to get healthy...
He wants to work OVERSEAS away from you right? How is this working towards a permanent stable relationship?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI still love him and I want us to have a new start. He is away now and I refused to call him, because he broke up with me. Deep down I want him to come back to me. He wants to do contracting job in Iraq now. How can I make it work that he comes back and we start from all over. With his PTSD problem which he is not willing to treat at the moment, because he wants to go for contracting oversees. He is a good person deep inside and a good provider. What can I do to get him back. I still love him so much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2011): So you two met online, got engaged, moved in together, had problems, he moved out, and broke up with you. All within the space of ONE YEAR??whoa, this relationship just went way too fast no wonder it was so unstable. he could also have PTSD - it's very difficult adjusting to civilian life, let alone a new relationship at the same time. I would say that you fell in love with his online persona, which was not his true personality, and then once you were together in person his true colors showed. But you're still clinging to the ideal (but false) picture of him in your mind and missing that. it sounds like he had or has depression so he's got issues of his own to sort out, it's not your fault.Tell yourself that at least you only lost one year to this relationship. That's not much time, in the grand scheme of things. Try to learn from this experience to take things slower in your next relationship, get to know someone better for longer, in person, before getting engaged and moving in together. you'll be OK, just give yourself time.
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