A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Recently my girlfriend of 2 years and I have split up. This is all because of me. I was a jerk to her and didn't appreciate what I had and of course now I realize and of course I want her back.Now I'm only 17 and a junior in high school but I feel like a jerk and an a**hole this girl was my first real love and now she wants nothing to do with me and shes moved on to someone new. I've also tried to move on but for one I don't know how and two I can't imagine myself with anyone else but her. Can someone please help?
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (4 June 2014):
 Breakups suck. Plain and simple. And they suck even worse when it's our first true heart break. I remember mine. I thought I was never going to survive. That was when I was 18. I'm now 30. Looking back on it, there's no way we were ever going to make it. We had so much learning and growing as adults to do. The person I was at 18 is nowhere near the person I am now. Not even close. And honestly, looking back, I can't even believe I was so devistated over this person lol. But I do look back and remember that time fondly and with good memories. After all, it was my first.
My point being that it's completely normal to feel how you're feeling. Everyone does over their first love. But try to keep in mind that further on down the road in life, you'll look back and remember it fondly and without any pain, just like I do. This will just be a memory you have and a learning experience. Practically everyone goes through this. You'll get through it. It's going to hurt like hell for a while. But eventually, it'll slowly stop hurting. You won't even notice the lessening pain until you wake up one day and realize you don't hurt at all anymore. It's almost like it comes as a shock. Just remember - the pain is only temporary. And you have the whole world ahead of you. You will meet someone amazing for you and you'll forget all about this.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 June 2014):
Been there too; and while it sucks and you probably feel like it'll never get better, it will.
Plus, you've hopefully learned a lesson. Think of a relationship as a fire. If you don't feed it with the proper fuel it'll go out. If you give it things to burn it'll rage.
Also, she's only one girl out of millions. My experience has been that each of my relationships got better as I learned more about my preferences and learned how to be a better partner.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 Hi
We all go through wheat you are feeling right now. Its part of maturing, growing up, evolving, learning to deal with negative emotions and gaining experience, good and bad, that shapes us. Splitting from our first love is always hard, but its usually not too long before your back on your feet. Keep yourself busy, engage with new people, go out with friends, engross yourself in your studies and interests. You will soon feel better.
When I was 17 I cried my poor eyes out at splitting up with my girlfriend. (I cried even more when she came back and gave me a black eye). I thought it was true love, destiny, and all of those other idealist feelings of relationships most of us experience as teenagers. I didn't think I could face the rest of my life without her!! Now, from the grand old age of 36, I look back and chuckle at those early relationships. They seemed so important, the feelings so strong and the emotions so confusing at the time. Now I realize how simplistic and naïve those early relationships were. You are 17, you were together from the age of 15. I know you feel like this relationship was so serious and so intense now, but in a short while, and I know how fast you teens grow up nowadays, you will look back and realize you were just, in the kindest possible sense, a pair of children playing at relationships. This is a high school romance, not a marriage ;-) You are so young and have the whole of your adult life ahead of you! Do you really think that when you are 50 you will still be sad and glum over this kid? Of course not ;-)
Nobody becomes and expert on relationships over night. No, it takes practise, learning from our mistakes and lots of set backs and heartbreak before you can be a great boyfriend. You messed up but you are young, give it a bit more time and you will be up and running again with someone else. Just don't be the jerk next time you hear?
Mark
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