A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my partner for over four years, we have a son together who is 2 and half years old. for the last two years all we have done is split up, we have split up well over 300 times! the only reason i have stuck with this man is because of my son, and that he helps pay the bills, and of course i do love him still but not sure if im "in love" with him. we argue all the time and it affects our little boy as ive noticed changes in our sons behaviour, he has alot of tantrums and gets really scared even when their are bad vibes in the room. it breaks my heart i dont want my little boy to grow up unhappy and damaged. so we have split up again but he always comes running back, but this time im seriously thinking of walking away for good, am i making the right choice? im a push over and give into him too easily, hes like an addiction and im worried that without him i will struggle with bills and looking after our son. i just want some advice on what to do and how to learn to say no to him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): "we argue all the time and it affects our little boy as ive noticed changes in our sons behaviour, he has alot of tantrums and gets really scared even when their are bad vibes in the room."You are doing your son no favors by forcing him to experience first-hand your toxic volatile shack-up coupling. He will grow up assuming that incessant and frequent arguments, men manipulating women and women serving as compliant weak-willed doormats are normal and expected behaviors. "im a push over and give into him too easily, hes like an addiction and im worried that without him i will struggle with bills and looking after our son."You are making it clear to your son that satisfying your self-serving wants and needs are more important than your son's emotional well-being and overall best interests. The kid's not even three and he's already learned to expect his breeders to go to war on a daily basis. I'm not a professional but I suspect he's already exhibiting signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and no wonder considering the circumstances into which he was born and from which he has no escape.You and your son need intensive counselling ASAP, otherwise you are dooming a two-year-old to silently endure a hellish childhood lacking any kind of moral guidance, hate to be harsh but you and boyfriend are providing an ideal breeding ground for a potential sociopath unless you get the professional help you so desperately need immediately.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (24 March 2013):
 you two need some space from each other in the very least. or if you do try to make it work, definitely get some counseling together.
you can be a pushover all you want when you're not a mother, but the moment you bring a child into the mix, that changes everything. you've already said that your son is behaving differently. seeing this growing up will seriously damage him in his adult years with forming and maintaining relationships. it also effects their attachment style. google that if you'd like if you don't know much about that. having a healthy, normal attachment is crucial in having relationships/friendships later in life. having parents constantly in and out of their life will seriously effect them.
with all that being said, you need to make a choice. but stick to it once and for all. not even for you. for your son. if you decide to leave him for good; DO IT. if you decide to stay, do it the right way. get counseling and try to stop this. because seriously, breaking up over 300 times is just over the top. you guys need outside help. good luck.
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