A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now,he has a child from his late wife who died in a very tragic accident years ago!so the family has suffered a lot!Now the late wife's mother doesn't really like me,she thinks I'm taking her daughter's place..we are going to get married soon and I have accepted his child as my own!I live with my fiancee and his child,I set certain rules for the kid like no tv before homework,no mobile phone until she's 13 and I want to monitor what is done on the computer,cuz I know the crazy world out there and I don't want her to be exposed to anything she isn't ready!now his late wife's mother things I'm imposing these rules cuz she is not my daughter and she told my fiancee we shouldn't have a child together until his child grows up because otherwise I would ignore the other child,I even agreed to that,I will wait till the girl grows up!I'm a friend to her when she needs me,I'm an 'acting' mom when I have to be,I would have done the same with my own child..now his late wife's mother is life if I continue imposing these rules she'l take away the kid,she's just making everything so difficult and what's worse is she doesn't even want to discuss the problems cuz she only sees me as the 'other woman' and not her son in laws soon to wife!I love my fiancee to death and his kid!how can I make this situation better?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): You are going to have to just try and work on the relationship with your step daughters grandmother. She is hurting, but doesn't have the right to interfere in your relationship so much. Start treating her as the grandmother of your step daughter, not a mother in law and things should be easier. She can make rules, but not in your home. Be kind and realise she is hurting, let most of it go over your head, do things your way and they mighty improve x
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