A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm 21 years old and my fiance is 20 although alot of ppl think we are still to yong to get married we've thought about it and talked about it and have come to the conclution that we just can live without eachother and we want to get married. we dont want kids right away (we would love to enjoy our lives together a married cople for a few years) just wondering what your take on our situation is?
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female
reader, KimmyDee20  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 hey there, at the end of the day in the eyes of the law you are not too young to marry as we all know 18 nis the legal age for it .., and if you feel that this man is the right one for you then go for it however before you make any vast decisions think long and hard about the future and if you really want the kids shhhbang at present .... however everyones views on kids life marriage is different , for me personalli would wait you have your whole lives together to do it , and just because i think that that should not let that stop you from doing something that would make you truly happy
however whatever you decide , hope it goes well for yo both
hugs* to you both
xxx
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I was married at 22 so to me you are not too young. My marriage didnt last but who's to say yours wont, I certainly didnt think it would end in divorce when we did marry or else I wouldnt have done it. My mum was 19 when she married my did and they are still together now, she was 63 last month. So if it feels right then its your decision x
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (30 July 2008):
Several responses have excellent thoughts for you to consider. Please read them carefully.
I'm not as concerned with your ages, as with the questions of how long you have known each other and how long have you been a couple? My wife and I met when we were both 22, got married one year and two weeks later, and are still married (to each other!) after 34 years.
Marriage is a step of faith and trust at any age. There will never be a time when everything is exactly right for you to get married. Listen to what your friends are telling you - after all, they know you much better than I do - but consider their advice carefully. Are they pointing out real dangers, or solvable problems, or simple inconveniences?
Wanting kids isn't a prerequisite (or even a good reason) to get married, but you two need a better life plan than simply being around each other. There is merit in the reply that suggested an engagement period, or even pre-engagement, might give you the opportunity to develop and sort out some of your intentions. Unless there is some compelling external circumstance (like, one of you is assigned to a military deployment, or you really need to complete your separate studies at geographically separated schools) I think 2 years is the longest engagement period you should even consider.
I don't agree that "living together" is an especially useful alternative. There really IS some substance behind the words in some formal Christian marriage ceremonies, " ... for richer and poorer, in sickness and health, till death do us part.". Either you ARE mutually committed to a permanent relationship, or you are NOT. "Living together" is almost an insult to your partner because it has the unspoken but implied thought, "Well, you're not really good enough for me but I'll keep you around until something better shows up.".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): I was in your same situation, same ages, everything. Now for me we got engaged after 6 months and married after 7 months after the engagement. It felt right, he gave up everything and moved 1/2 way across the US to be with me. We were married just one year. Everything changed for us, but like you we were still in college. I was in a sorority, which he made me drop, and then joined a fraternity. He also moved his younger brother in, so in the end I just had two children to raise, because once we moved in together I realized just how young he was. I hope the best for you, but if you haven't been together long, stick out and wait. I think if we did and go through college first we might have had a chance. You don't have to rush if you truly love each other.
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A
male
reader, Shipwreckd +, writes (30 July 2008):
 My thought is that you're both too young for marriage. If things are so right, then why not wait? Get engaged if you want the semblance of a sealed commitment. Set a date two years out. If things are still going good a year and a half from now, then go for it. What do you have to lose by being patient and waiting until you're both a bit more established as adults?
Ultimately, I think it's great that the two of you are very much into each other. Just be patient and don't rush head first into this. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and should be respected as a huge life step.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, sexiestgirlalive18 +, writes (30 July 2008):
 You should go for it if you think you two are meant for each other. I got married when I was 20 and the guy was 20 and we have been married almost a year now. As long as you two love each other I dont see the problem. We have two kids and another on the way and we are getting through it just fine. So if you two want to go right ahead and do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Personally, I think you and your fiance should go with whatever feels right for you. Some people find their true love when they are 15, others can find it when they are 50. If the time feels right and you know that she is the one, and she feels the same then you aren't too young at all! Ignore the others and trust your feelings for each other, no one else can tell you how you feel. Congratulations and all the best for the future :D xxx
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A
female
reader, dazzleberry +, writes (30 July 2008):
 hya there,
you don't actually say how long the 2 of you have been together? Marrage is a big step to take at any age, and a few generations ago it was considered normal to marry at a young age and to be honest they seem to be the generation that take marrage and all it's vow's the most seriously. You don't have to get married to prove your love for one another just yet, try living together first and see how that goes, then you can save up and have the wedding you always dreamed of. But if your really serious about this i don't think sny amount of avice will change your mind.
Hope you and your partner live a long and happy life togther.
Shine on, Dazzle x
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