A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:just wanted some advice. I have been working with J for two years. I love him. We both have partners but have said we are unhappy. We have always been there for each other etc.... I am leaving soon ( in three months) and i love him so much I wanted to test him by putting a ring on my "wedding ring finger"... Well his reaction was that he immediatelty kept asking me if i was engaged and kept following me .. He seemed gutted, but I dont know. I just avoided the answer. I have told him in the past tht I would leave my partner for him as I sincerely have fallen for him. But he has blown hot and cold.WHat now? I have taken two days off, just for him to think about things.what do people think?Jackie
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 I think you need to separate the two things, one is your current relationship with your partner and the other is J.
If you are unhappy and are thinking about leaving, what are you waiting for? This is unfair to your partner, as he could be out looking for the woman who will stick by him. It sounds to me like he will be hurt sooner or later, so why not make the break now? So I suggest you deal with your current relationship, without worrying about J.
As far as J goes, well, who knows? If he's blowing hot and cold, it just may be that he IS attracted to you, but doesn't plan to do anything about it. The signs of jealousy you saw could be real devastation at the possible loss of you, or they just could be the signs of a man who was enjoying a very flirtatious but not truly serious soon-to-start affair.
Sorry, this may not be what you want to hear, but you need to sort out your relationship with your partner first, so that you can be with a man who is available, even if it doesn't turn out to be J. Otherwise, you are being a bit selfish.
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