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female
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anonymous
writes: I've met this guy through doing some work with him, which is not finished yet, I'm single and I thought he was, we started text flirting (he started it), it got really flirty and then he told me face to face, he had to stop as he was seeing someone and it felt really bad, we both agreed it went against our values. The trouble is it started something, I am thinking about him a lot, we are extremely compatible and last night we kissed after discussing all the reasons why we should not - then it just happened, we are very attracted to each other. Problem is - he is going on holiday with his girlfriend today for a few weeks, I've told him to decide what he really wants, if its friends then I will make sure I dont think of him as anything else, but he is still texting in an affectionate way and I like it. Before it gets out of hand and someone gets hurt, can you give me some advice? I just dont know for sure whether this is the real thing or simply lust or something, we have both been very hurt in the past and I know I deserve more than this, but how do I stop thinking about him, its driving me nuts!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (25 February 2006):
 Use the time while he is away to really think things through and ask him to do the same, sometimes two people are just thrown together and are meant to be despite there being other people involved.
If you both feel you would be miserable apart then he must finish with the current partner.
You wont know if it is the real thing or just lust until you are together as a couple as currently what you are doing is wrong and that can add some excitment to the whole thing, only when you do the couple thing will you know if you really are suited.
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