A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i am 60 years old and my husband is 75. we have been married for 4 years and very happy. unfortunately he has a heart condition and diebeties and has been impotent from when i met him.he makes me laugh and very caring all the time.last week i came home from work and found a pornographic tape in the v.c. i was devastated and when we talked he said he was trying to see if he could get an erection and felt very upset and said maybe he needs help.i rationalized that men think different to women and are visual as we are more emotional. was he trying to cling on to the past, and was my reaction correct? my past relationships have been very satisfying whereas this is more emotional.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): i tend to agree with aunty em. i couldnt have said it better. good luck, mal
A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 It's true that men enjoy porn more than women as a rule because most of it is made for men by men.
I could see why you'd be shocked, so don't give that another thought.
I think from what you say his motives were pure, as it must be frustrating for him not to be able to get an erection and I'm sure he'd like nothing more than to be able to 'do the business' with you.
Men are more visual and women tend to be turned on by what they hear and feel far more.
I wish you both every happiness x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (19 January 2010):
 I agree, I think he was doing it for you. Maybe he is worrying that because your past relationships were more satisfying in the physical sense, he might not be able to give you what you want.
The odd bit of porn doesn't really bother me either...men generally like it and as long as it's not all over the house you don't have to feel threatened. My partner watches the odd DVD and I'm like ' Well she'll never pick up your dirty socks or put up with your snoring!!!' and we laugh about it.
Talk to him about all the things you love about him and what he loves about you. Enjoy your relationship and support one another. Define what is important to keep you both happy. If he wants to seek help to get his 'mojo' back then your both going to benefit from it.
I thought your post here was extremely sweet and I wish you both the very best of luck.
Aunty Em xxx
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