A
male
age
36-40,
*ymphony1234
writes:The friendship issue i have is a few months ago my friend was jobless and he was at home almost for 7 to 8 months . While he was at home taking care of stuff{cleaning, taking dogs for walk.cooking(partially) } I put my personal life on hold(Parties, friends, relationship) because everytime i used to go out or be with someone i could see disappointment in his eyes and sometimes he was vocal about it saying that he felt depressed and alone coz he has to be home all day and he has no one to talk to, nor even share stuff except for me.Now the tables have turned and i have quit my job(Sabbatical) and at home doing all the stuff he used to do when he wasn't working. Recently i felt the same things he felt while he was at home and i made it vocal as well saying that i feel lonely and depressed being at home all day with 6 dogs and feeding them, cleaning the house , cooking etc etc etc. He replied back saying that he cant put his personal life on a stop just because i am feeling low. He will there for me always at every issue of my life but he wont stop his life of partying and booze and other friends.Was i a fool to expect too much out of him as a friend? Should have continued living my life the way i lead it or else am i just being dramatic right now thinking of myself as the victim?Please advice guys...This thing is eating me up from inside and its really getting me to go crazy and sometimes lose my temper at really small things.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2015): He's selfish, and has easily forgotten where he was some months ago. He really isn't a friend, he was only jealous that you had money and was able to go out. Now the tides have changed, and he doesn't care. So stop referring to him as your friend. He's just your roommate.
He is paying the rent and covering the expenses you can't, I presume? Then you're doing what you are expected to do, until you can bring in more income. Where are the other friends you were out partying with? Do they never visit? Probably not with so many pets around!
Give-up some of the dogs. Six is too many, and that can't be very clean. Constantly caring for so many dogs and cleaning-up after them is getting to you; and you both wear on each others nerves, because of the dirty chores. Being out of work plays on your mind when you're used to being busy and productive, and suddenly it all comes to a halt.
So small and petty things upset you. You're too old for a baby-sitter.
Yes, you are being dramatic; and having a pity-party. You need to get back to work. Shop for new friends while you're at it.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 February 2015):
 He sounds like a manipulative and selfish guy to be honest, but... I also think you were catering WAY to much to his whims when he was job-less.
YOU chose to NOT go out, you CHOSE to hang out with him instead. NO matter how much he "guilted" you, you HAD a choice.
Now that the tables have turned, he is NOT interested in returning the favor - HIS choice.
My question is, who do all those dogs belong to? Are you two room-mates or what?
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