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Was he trying to fob me off with his excuse?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *atasha123 writes:

I've had a couple of dates with a wonderful man, the trouble is we met through a dating site, and left me wondering if he was also contacting other women, I got very drunk Saturday and he called me on the phone where I began ranting and raving about this, (I don't remember a lot about the conversation) I called him the next day to apologize and he said he would still like to see me, the next day he rang and told me he's got things going on with his ex-wife and he would be in touch. Was he trying to fob me off with a break up line or do you think he'll be in touch?

View related questions: a break, drunk, ex-wife, his ex

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 June 2009):

Honeypie agony auntLive and learn.. Don't beat yourself up.

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A female reader, natasha123 United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2009):

natasha123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for your answers, I know it was stupid, it was so out of character for me to do something like that, that's what i'm going to do wait for him to contact me, I just hope he does ?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 June 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Eyeswideopen - She is right on the money. Of course you were curious and of course it is easier to ask the question when drunk. I do get it. It's just never very smart.

After 2 dates you are both probably still "testing" the waters so to speak. Women more then men assume that dating equals exclusivity, lot of men don't.

I would leave the ball in his court. If he doesn't get back to you within a few days he most likely felt overwhelmed/scared. And it would be time for you to look around for another date.

I tend to think it was an excuse to let you down gently. Rather then say, you scared the shit out of him with that drunken phone conversation.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2009):

Starlights agony auntIts hard to tell whether he did give you a brush off, maybe he did!

either way, you just have to leave it to him to contact you, he probably is seeing other women and keeping his options open right now.

i think instead of waiting for him to get in touch try getting in touch with other singletons in your area.

GOOD luck!

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A female reader, Imayknow1980 United Kingdom +, writes (22 June 2009):

Imayknow1980 agony auntYou met this man through a dating site, you've had a couple of dates. I know through my own experience with dating sites that even if I had gone on a couple of dates with a guy I'd still use the site. Two dates is'nt enough to get to know someone, he would be keeping his options open while seeing how things progress with you.... thing is you've only been on a couple of dates and you've had a rant about him maybe speaking to other women on the site!!! I feel that alot of men would be freaked out by this as I would if a guy who I had met twice had done that to me. I think the whole ex-wife thing is he's breakaway excuse im sorry to say...

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (22 June 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntAfter only a couple of dates you should have been wiser but that's water under the bridge at this point. It is very likely he is seeing other women, why wouldn't he? You hardly have a exclusive relationship after a couple dates. You may have scared him off permanently because of your drunk ranting and raving. Lesson learned if he never contacts you again. Best to lay off the sauce, sister.

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