A
female
age
51-59,
*lowerkitty66
writes:So I signed up for online dating and a very hot man contacted me. He was very complimentary to me and a we texted and talked on the phone alot. After about 2 weeks we met at a sports bar for a ver nice 1st date. Later that night he asked me out for that friday. When I told him yes, he said whoo hoo! So I was on cloud nine for two days waiting for Friday to arrive. Friday afternoon I got a text from him saying he had to cancel. I was just crushed but let him off the hook. All night I was sad and then he texted me asking if we could talk by phone. When we talked he explained that when he signed up he didn't have alot going on. But when we started talking he started having to take alot of tests and failed a couple. He wanted to just concentrate on his job school and his son for a while.I told him I understood. And he asked me to be patient. And asked me to call anytime and that he would call me. It's been about a month and we have texted almost every day and talked on phone about once a week but in the last few days i haven't hear from him. What do you all think, was he just feeding me a bunch of bull or should I wait. I have been on a few dates with others so I'm not just pining but I really liked him alot.
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female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Do not initiate any contact. Return his texts two to three days later. Back right off and act cool, even if you don;t feel cool!! - you will get your answer this way, as if he is genuinley inetrested, he will start pursuing you properley. Hope that helps. Nx
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 No don't wait.
After a lot of trial and error, I have learned not to let into my life people who cancels last minute. The only acceptable reasons for doing that could be a sudden death in the family, a ferocious bout of food poisoning, or an alien invasion. Moral integrity shows from very little, mundane things : like keeping an engagement you freely took , even if it becomes a bit unconvenient or if a better option arises. If I committed to help a girlfriend to dye her hair, and then Johnny Depp would ask me out for drinks - I would not stand my friend up. If people can't do the same for me, ...I don't need them around.
Moreover, personally I am a big fan of "when there is a will there is a way " so I am a bit suspicious of people who "needs to focus " on their job , studies etc. Everybody works or studies or raise kids etc.- if dating
where only for people who can live a life of total unfettered leisure , by now the human race would be exctint, I guess.
When the person " needs to focus " it just means they are not interested enough to MAKE TIME for you. (Which of course is totally their right and totally understandable with no need for hard feelings - providing they are honest about it and don't string you along ).
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 November 2010):
I think there has been some bull here. I find it suspicious that he signed up for a dating site, said he would meet and then claimed that he didn't have to come along after all, and suddenly needed to spend time with his son and focus on his job. Why didn't he do that before?
I think he might be a married man, and given that you're still waiting around, I think it would be better to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): People get into (online) dating for all sorts of reasons. Some are genuine of course, but others are just 'players', or on the rebound - they crave the attention, but aren't willing/ready to commit. Personally, I wouldn't put TOO much stock in what anyone does/says at this stage, until you've spent more time together, and some form of commitment is made.
Don't cynically assume that this man is just fooling you, but don't make him your only hope. Contact/date other men. Keep your options open. If/when he makes up his mind, he knows where you are. Meanwhile, live your life and enjoy it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): ~SAY NO TO CODEPENDENCY~
Give him his space. Heck, you just met and even if you end up in a relationship still respect that he needs space.
I have never been co-dependent...aside from my last relationship which started off so dysfunctional causing me to act co-dependent in search for some type of order. It was destructive, and not only did it stress the hell out of her it stressed the hell out of me.
I can't do the type of worrying you do anymore. It is draining.
It boils dowen to trust and respect.
Thankfully I don't have those issues with her anymore. I have no reason to not trust her and I am aware of my behavior to not disrespect. Trust me, it's just better to allow him to be him, which means his world does not have to revolve around you.
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