A
female
age
51-59,
*hinachik
writes:Last September I met a guy online and we had a real connection, we chatted for 3 months- just flirting, but I really developed an intense connection with him. He even asked me out, but then for some reason it never happened. We lived far apart, and he said he didn't want a long distance relationship, also things happened, with me and I ended up dating someone closer, then at Christmas I pushed him and he stopped writing to me.Since then I've moved for a job, and I live closer to him... I still can't forget how he made me feel, and think about him all the time. Should I try and contact him? Am I wasting my time? Was he just trying to let me down easily or was the distance really the issue? Its not easy or often I can make a connection like that, and he's the only guy I've ever felt like the one that got away...Any advice would be appreciated, as I'm only a breath away from emailing him again and hoping he will reply, but don't want to do it if its only going to hurt?Thanks
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female
reader, Naughynnice  +, writes (30 May 2010):
Hey girl i know how it s i as well met someone online and he came down from los angeles to san diego to visit me twice and after that he just stoped talking to me it just broked my heart i wish i knew why he stoped talking to me but my pride is too big to text him and ask:(, anyways my advise is to email him ask how hes doing if he doesnt respond well atleast u will know how it is annd how he doesnt deserve u,then find someone around town girlfriend have fun and forget because.hope things turn out ok i really do :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): You really didn't have a relationship to have any kind of REAL emotional connection to him. It's how he behaves in PERSON that really counts. Stats have revealed that long distance relationship are rarely successful, yet and still you can not compare your situation with countless of others - not ALL long distance relationships are total unsuccessful.
I do NOT think you should contact him about "reconnecting" on a relationship level and why? Because, the guy told you as clear as day that he did NOT want a long term relationship. You may have a connection with him, but it's superfical because, in all honestly, you don't know the guy..you haven't spent any quality time with him up close and personal, therefore how can it be a REAL connection? Moreover, just because, you felt this "connection" does not mean he does--which is one of the reasons why he told you that he does not want a long distance relationship. Moreover, I don't "chatting" can be defined as a "relationship." If this guy didn't ask you to be his girlfriend, if he didn't ask you to date him, then most likely it was never a relationship...connection or not. Also, as a woman, you should never, ever chase after a man for a relationship or even to rekindled one---let the guy to the chasing, let him be the leader, let him ask YOU. If this guy was really interested in pursuing a relationship with you, he would ask...plain and simple. If I were you, I would save myself the shame of emailing him and hinting at a possible relationship...you will only appear desperate in his mind simply because, he told you up front that he does NOT want to pursue a long distance relationship of any kind....he didn't even tell you that he wanted a relationship if the two of you lived closer, so please don't embarrass yourself. If you want to keep the lines of communication open, then that is a choice you have to make, but DON'T ASK, DON'T HINT AND DON'T APPEAR DESEPRATE to be in a relationship with this guy. Live your OWN life, and don't wait around for him because, if you do this, and things don't turn out how you imagined it, you just might be heartbroken.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (28 May 2010):
 I completely agree with YouWish and Laura1318. I don't think distance was the deciding factor but it may have influenced him. Like YouWish said, he was probably chatting to a few women online and in the end settled for someone he clicked with more and who was perhaps closer to where he lives.
But having said all that, the fact that you're here asking the question means that you're still thinking about it.
If I was you I'd email him, say hello, tell him you moved and it'd be nice to catch up sometime. Keep it casual, let him reply and invite you out if he wants to.
Sure you might not get a reply or he might say he's not available but you could be pleasantly surprised. If nothing, you'll at least put your mind at ease in knowing you tried. It's better to try and fail than to never try at all.
Best of luck to you :)
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 May 2010):
 No venture , no gain. It does not cost you anything and it won't make you a lesser person if you email him.
At least you will know if this fish is still there or available. Then you can either start a new chapter with him or find closure on this issue.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 May 2010):
 I'm thinking that the distance issue wasn't a real issue. My guess is that he was chatting to more than one person online and settled on someone else. That tends to happen in online dating and correspondence.
I know it's tough on you, but keep in mind that it's very easy to portray who you want to online, and the guy may not have been who he really was. It hurts, but he might have been a mistake too. You never know.
The nice thing about the internet is that someone new will come around for you which will dazzle you so much that you won't even remember this other guy. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): I don't understand how anyone can have a connection thru- a computer! but if you feel so strong about him? call him. you will never know unless you take that first step! but becareful, and meet always in a public place. iam just real careful myself! and if and when you meet him and you feel uncomfortable well it's because you are get out. please don't place you're bet on one man! meaning keep an open mind because you don't have to settle for less then you're values. and if you are disappointed it's ok too! honey it's your life! and you only live it once so find some'one you deserve but always watch for red flags.
Best Wishes!
Oregongrl
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