A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Quick question. Should I be angry when my best friend is getting married and tells me that I am the best man. Well, the reason for my anger is he called me today and said that his fiance says she doesn't want me to be in or at the wedding. I have a child with her best friend and the relationship ended badly when she admitted she was in love with my other best friend and they had been seeing each other off and on for 3-1/2 years before I even met her. This wasn't shared with me until after we were together. Anyway, the bride to be blames me for everything and hates me yet she knows that her fiance is my best friend. He says he doesn't want to upset her and now I'm out. I was really hurt as I have known him see we were infants. Our mothers are best friends. I'm also the godfather to their daughter. Now I can't even attend the wedding but my ex is matron of honor. This really sucks. Should I go anyway???
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female
reader, stina +, writes (27 October 2006):
 Hi Anon,
I have to agree with the other aunts who said you should find new friends. (Obviously that means I would definitly not go to the wedding.)
Your best friend is marrying someone who doesn't want you at the wedding. My guess is that she is going to manipulate him into not seeing you at all anymore. And even thought you've known this guy forever, if he's unwilling to try and have you two work it out so you can at least attend the wedding, then that speaks volumes about what would happen in the future with your friendship.
I think it's time to meet some new people. You don't need drama queens like this in your life. You didn't do anything wrong. These people need a reality check and you need people who are more deserving of your friendship.
Take care.
A
female
reader, fATTYNATTY +, writes (26 October 2006):
 i think you should have a chat with this lady, explain how you want her day to go well, try and smooth things over, do it for the sake of attending your best friends wedding, talk to her about her misunderstandingand how much it means to her to be there not only for your friend but for her also, talk to your friend aswell warn him that your going to have a civilised conversation with her , but make out that it's for the best. maybe he'llput a few more good words in for you
Of corse your entitled to be angry and i don't blame you for it, word of warning, women are highly sensitive and the pressure of the wedding can't be helping much, so grin and bear it . and maybe just suck up to her abit. if things take a turn for the worse, Do not let lose, personally i think you should show your hurt and truly sorry shes got the complete wrong idea.
best of luck, really hope everything works out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2006):
You have a right to be angry. Go ahead.
On the other hand there is really nothing you can do about it. You aren't invited. She makes up the lists.
The post is largely ceremonial- he can sucessfully get married without you. So its not like you are abandoning your bud... he'll be fine.
On the other hand, you should go to the bachelor party... thats not part of the little princesses perfect day, so she should have no say. Beside, he'll need you much more there.
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A
female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 think your best not going as this may caurse a few probs and you could end up falling out wth him altogether wat you should do is talk to ure mate tell him you think its out of order also why shud ure ex still get to go if you carnt good luck
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Hi Dude,
You have been betrayed by this group of "friends" yet again it seems. I suggest that you do NOT go to the wedding. The bottom line is your presence there is going to be disruptive and you are going to get blamed for more antics that are not your fault. Furthermore, if you go, it is your rep that is going to be hurt, not theirs. It is also your male friend that is going to suffer in this, not his bride.
Lastly, I would suggest that you build a new social circle of friends. It does not sound like you have made good choices in the past. The mother of your child, your other best freind, and this guy do not sound like people of their word. Drop the whole group. There is nothing there worth saving or staying connected to.
Say goodbye, good riddence, and do not bother with any wedding gift.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (26 October 2006):
 No you shouldn't go uninvited, instead spend the day looking for more friends these guys are the pits.
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A
female
reader, Fernikle +, writes (26 October 2006):
 Hello pet, well, here's a pickle. This isn't very fair and your friend must feel like pig-in-the-middle. He obviously loves his fiancee, however, he must also be feeling rotten in not being able to have his best friend as his best man. This could be the end of your friendship too. Can you possibly try meeting-up with this lady adn trying to make her also realise that this is also making things hard for your friend, and is the termination of the friendship and priviledge of being Godfather to her daughter really what she wants. In asking her about this, you are placing the ball back in her court. You are also allowing her to clarify her feelings on the situation.
If she feels anything at all for her fiance, she will give some thought to his wishes for the wedding day too; after all, it is his day too.
All anyone wants on their day is for it to go smoothly. Perhaps this is pressure coming from your ex. Either way, seek some more information as to why she feels this way. Can you both not overcome your bitterness for eachother for the love of your friends?
All the best mate, and let us know hwo it developes.
Mwah X
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