A
male
age
30-35,
*ody
writes:Dear Friends and Readers I am a single 15 year old guy I go to church and school and I am very active in the community service I visit retierment homes and volenter at homeless centers I am what you would call an outcast and I am extremly shy when around girls.I can't find a girl friend I hsve never had one all of my friends do but I am lonley. There is a girl I do like but I fear she dosent like me.I mean she flirts at least I think she does she always smiles at me and pushes me not in a mean way but in a playfull way and I was trying to find out if she likes me and if so would she like to go out.But I am afriad and shy to ask and I dont want to runin what I have with her now can anyone help -Kody
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): Hi Kody I feel the same way as a matter of fact I have the same problem my advice is just talk to her but I know that can be hard but just go for it I will as well goodluck.
A
female
reader, xlindax  +, writes (17 March 2007):
Don't put yourself down mate, because if you feel bad about yourself then this will come across to girls and you will be projecting yourself as someone who has no confidence and doesn't like themselves very much. You sound like a great guy who does great things and there is really nothing for you to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Take some pride in what you do as there is really no point in doing anything if your heart isn't in the job and you are ashamed about doing it. Next time you go to your volunteers job take note of how your work is helping someone there to lead a happier and more fulfilled life and feel a sense of pride and achievement in what you are doing - how many other people your age are just wasting their lives away in selfish persuits, drinking and taking drugs all the time? you need to wake up and smell the coffee, see what is really important in life and gain confidence in yourself and your actions instead of worrying about what other people are thinking about you all the time.
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A
female
reader, Sam23 +, writes (17 March 2007):
Dear Kody,
You sound like a very sweet person with a lot to offer a girlfriend. You say that you would really like a girlfriend because you feel lonely but "fear" this girl, who you have become close to may not like you - is it that you really like this girl, or are you more into the idea of having a girlfriend?
You mention that you're friends have had girlfriends but you are perhaps more shy than them, do you often see you're friends socially? Do you feel this is an option?
It sounds like you are proud of volunteering and enjoy giving time to other people - do you feel able to continue volunteering at retirement homes whilst also volunteering with younger people? Sometimes, by meeting new people our own age we grow more confident with the opposite sex!
It does sound like you are focused on this one girl, and that is good if you're feelings for her are genuine. If they are genuine and you feel a good relationship can be made then ask yourself if you can face the possibility of rejection weighed against the prospect of spending lots of romantic time with this girl.
Whatever you choose, try to remember that any relationship is an opportunity for your partner as well as yourself.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): Hey, Kody! Well, I am glad to hear that you are still single, at fifteen. (smile) No, I am not trying to be sarcastic. Anyway, you don't seem to me to be an "outcast"! Seems to me like you are very much into life and helping others in any way you can. That ain't no outcast! And I am sure you are appreciated more than you realize. About this girl you are interested in,...I would say she hardly considers you an outcast (I hate that word!). I would say that her "kidding around" is a way of saying, "Hey, why don't you lighten up and talk to me more"? I don't know how close you live to her, and I am assuming you don't yet have the "magic card" that allows you to drive a vehicle on the public streets. But you might be surprised what she might say if you just asked her if she would like to go for a walk for soda. Surely you can think of a few words to say?! Do you have any of the same classes in school? How about needing somebody to study with? (Even if you don't, maybe she does). Think! Kody,..think! And lighten up! People don't think you are nearly so goofy looking as you do when you stare at yourself in the mirror. Just wash your face and get out. Mirrors don't know s**t, anyway.
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A
female
reader, baby blue fairy +, writes (17 March 2007):
hey well if you really like her then just go for it i no its hard but you dont have anything to loose and you say shes playful towards you she must like you to then! if you go for it you may be surprised to see the out come she may feel the sameits up to you but you dont have to be so shy all the time! best of luck hope it goes well (tell her how you feel about her and wait for her reply it may be good!!) xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): There's a possibility that she might like you back. The flirting and smiling seems to at least give that signal. Try and drop a few hints so that she'll end up asking you out rather than the other way round. Do you smile and flirt with her or is it just her doing all of it? If you don't flirt and smile back at her start doing so so that she'll get the message that you like her. If she does like you back and you do start giving her hints that you feel the same way then maybe she'll ask you out. If she's only doing it as she just wants to be flirty friends with you then just move on.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789  +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Dear Kody,
It sounds like she really does like you,There are a few things you can do 1. you can ask her how she feels about you, 2. you can write to her and ask her how she feels about you, or 3. you can just let it go and hope she dont go out with someother guy. You are into alot of activities it cant be that bad for you to talk to someone so try it by asking or write her a note the worse thing that can happen is she says no but if thats the case just brush it off, and still be friends with her, it never hurts to try it will hurt you more if you dont! I hope i was help to you good luck!
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