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Unloved with no affection in my marriage...

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2010)
A female Philippines age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I been married for ten years now but my relationship with my husband is "rocky". I honestly love him... but later.. I get bored and fell out of love. He cheated on me a couple of times and he even hurt me physically... I longed for his affection and love but for the long we were married - the sparks are gone.. that is maybe because of what he did to me.

Now, all I have are the feeling of hurt, disappointment and the feeling of being unloved. A couple of days ago, I was able to meet up again with an old flame of mine... after 10 long years.. the feelings and the "magic" was still there and promises were made... I wish to be happy and live my life again with affection and love. Should I continue these feelings and get over with my relationship with my husband? I'm not getting any younger anymore and I wish to have kids someday...

View related questions: cheated on me, spark, unloved

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (19 April 2010):

raiders agony auntLeave your husband you are in your right he has violated the foundation of your marriage love trust and happiness. I don't think you should jump into a relationship just now, first resolve your issues with your husband. You don't want him to have dirty laundry about you before your divorce.

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A female reader, sweetiebabes Philippines +, writes (19 April 2010):

sweetiebabes agony auntHello, Sis. You have stayed 10 long years with him feeling emotionally abused and unloved. There are no reasons for you to stay with him anymore.

I think it is time for you to move on with your life and think about your happiness. Get out of the relationship. If you can diplomatically talk with your husband the better. Get out first of the relationship before continuing to spark your relationship with the new guy, he may take this against you and you will end up more in problems instead of living a happy life. Be honest with your feelings and tell your husband you want to have a new life to move on.

Be discreet with your new guy relationship, the safer the better for you may never know what he will do against you or him if you'll both get caught. You know what I mean? I know you have the right to be happy and be with a man who can give you the love you deserve, but you need to get out first of the relationship with your husband.

I wish you all the best and happiness you deserve!

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A female reader, cnith United States +, writes (19 April 2010):

cnith agony auntYou have no kids, it's fine to just up and leave. In fact, it's easier. If you aren't happy here, why are you staying?

Is your spark worth it? Or is it the grass is greener?

If your husband is cold and distant, I don't know why you're staying. Does he still hurt you physically? Still cheating on you? Could it be that's why he's cold?

Something else to think about. Are you a wife someone wants to come home to? Because if you're constantly angry and disappointed, no one wants to go home to that... Try to see it from his side. What's he coming home to? Is it something warm and fuzzy?

If it is, and he's still like this, then go elsewhere. It's that simple.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (19 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntYours is a loveless and unhappy marriage. You should find your happiness and if you cannot get it from this marriage, you should leave . Enough is enough.

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