A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In the past two months, ive spoken to these guys (totally separate) and we have gotten on well.We spoke a lot and the first guy was constantly messaging and snapchatting me. Was going really well, both of us flirting a little bit then suddenly he stopped. I didn't hear from him. I went on Facebook and saw he was in a relationship and it said he had been for 2 years... so I asked him and he apologised saying he is such a dick.The second guy was someone I used to talk too. He randomly started talking to me again after about a year. Thought this was a bit strange but was nice and replied. A few days go past and he's heavily flirting with me. He even said he fancied me. He asked for "some fun" over Snapchat which I said no to. He respected that but I never heard from him again. Again, on Facebook it says he is in a relationship.. I'm just so baffled by all of it. That's two different guys who have flirted with me and turns out they have a girlfriend. It makes me feel rotten. Why would they do that? Why me? Should I tell their partners or just keep quiet?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2016): To be honest I really disagree with the other answers so far. Firstly I don't think you've done anything wrong - YOU are the one that's single and free to do as they choose - THEY are the ones flirting around when they have partners.I guarantee most guys like this will try their look with anyone they find attractive (I mean that in the nicest way possible, it's just they're looking for a bit of fun).Also if it were my boyfriend doing this behind my back, I would really want someone to tell me. If you don't know these people too well, you could send them a print-screen of the conversation (with your words blacked out) as this shouldn't affect you. Having said that, if it's going to cause more bother for you, I wouldn't worry about it as it's not your problem and could end up causing more trouble in the long run. It's really your call - I would want to know but some girls can be nasty and end up blaming the other person - rather than the person they are in a relationship with.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 No don't tell there partners, you will be the enemy and they probably will just think you are causing trouble. Look you need to learn to check out these guys before you begin flirting with them. They do this as they are hoping you will fall for there charm and have some sexual fun with them. Don't be fooled in to it. Just do your homework next time.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (12 December 2016):
 What I can't understand is why you don't check them out on Facebook as soon as the conversations turn flirty? Why leave it so late to check?
And telling their partners is just an act of vengeance. It is not their partners' fault their blokes flirted with you. They could easily turn the tables on you and demand to know why YOU flirted with their boyfriends.
You need to learn a lesson (which you obviously didn't do the first time) and stop flirting with random people who you don't know. To answer your question, "why me?" - because you allow and encourage it. Simple.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (12 December 2016):
 Why you?
My guess is you are NOT the first nor only girl they have tried that with. So don't think that it's somehow YOUR fault or your personality that makes guys being dicks to their GF (and you).
My advice? Stick to nice platonic chats till you have CHECKED them out and see if they HAVE a GF, instead of waiting till things get heated or sexual/flirty. That way you can CUT them off and block them if they HAVE a GF and you won't have to waste time on dicks.
Would I tell their partners? Nope, I'd block their dumbasses and move on. It's not YOUR job to save other people's relationship (or break them up or pass on to these women that they have dicks for BF's). Now IF you met up and had sex or went on dates... then YES, but after chatting and flirting? no. But it's really up to you and WHY you really want to tell those women. Is it to punish the guys? or to "rescue" the poor unknowing women? Again, if it's the latter, I wouldn't be surprised if they knew their BF's were up to no good.
I really wouldn't waste ANOTHER minute on these fellas.
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