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Twice I had unprotected sex. Am I pregnant?

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 November 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2009)
A age 30-35, * writes:

help! ok soo me and my boyfriend broke up a few days ago. but just last weekend, i slept over and we had unprotected sex twice that night and again in the morning. i usually get my period from the 10th to the 12th of each month. its the 5th now. soo when we had sex was about 6 days ago. he didnt cum inside me, he pulled out but im not on the pill. so im really scared im pregnant.

my boobs are bigger (which may just be natural) but that never happens around my period, they dont change noticeably. my nipples are sore (doesnt happen either). i keep feeling sick and getting headaches. and i have intense pains "down there" that feel like they're coming from insideee of my vagina (if that makes sense) plus pains in my sides. and im crying all the time (may have nothing to do with it either, just throwing it in)

do u think im pregnant? we always worry about this, every month, but it always ends up fine. but this time im really worried cuz it was 3 times in a short time period. i know i could just go buy a pregnancy test but it isnt that easy as i dont want to tell my parents obviously. since me and him broke up i dont want to tell him either for i fear he may be very upset possibly even hurt me or not believe me! opinions please! thanks!

love, Laceyyy.

View related questions: boobs, broke up, nipples, period, pregnancy test, the pill, unprotected sex, vagina

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (6 November 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntI'm suggesting you are playing helpless here. You can figure out ways to sleep with your boyfriend, to hide what you're doing from your mother--she knows you're having sex but that it's not protected is kind of a key point, don't you think?--but you can't figure out how to get to the drug store for a pregnancy test? You're expecting strangers on the internet to be able to tell you if you are pregnant or not. My point is that you have a whole list of excuses why you can't do this simple thing. Go to the drug store at the mall or stop there after school. Surely you can tell your mother that you need something and then get her to wait in the car?

[Here's another option, go to this website: http://www.plannedparenthood.org There is a tool where you can find a clinic by entering your zipcode.]

I think you are missing the point. If you are engaging in adult behavior, namely, having unprotected sex, then you have to behave like an adult when it comes time to deal with the possible outcomes. That means finding out how to see a doctor or buying a simple over the counter pregnancy test kit and frankly, it means being honest with your mother. She SHOULD lose all faith and trust in you. You don't deserve her faith and trust. Here she's letting you spend the night with your boyfriend and you have access to condoms and you STILL do the unprotected sex thing? That's just wrong, and you know it.

So now you're trying to dig your way out of the situation you've put yourself in, and you don't realize that by acting helpless and hiding the problem, you are acting like a victim. Simple as that.

So, you don't want your mother to find out that you are abusing her trust in you, your ex boyfriend is an arsehole and unreliable, you don't have anyone else to rely on but yourself. So, figure out a way to get the test. Then take it.

I realize that your original question is "does it sound like I could be pregnant?" My answer is yes, it does sound like you could be pregnant.

So now what do you do?

I was trying to get you on to the next logical step. Which is........

....what?

Getting a pregnancy test. Your choices are: wait and see if your period comes, worrying all the while; getting a test and removing the doubt; telling your mother (which is frankly the right thing to do but you don't want to get her upset with you) and having her help you; getting your boyfriend (ex) to buy the test for you.

If the ex boyfriend cannot deal with pregnancy scares everytime he has unprotected sex with you, why the hell is he having unprotected sex with you? That's idiotic, irrational, and just plain stupid. Sorry, but that goes with the territory of having sex! And not using condoms! It just does! Duh!

Now what are you going to do? You have limited options. You get to choose one or more to solve this dilemma you find yourself in.

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A female reader, Accountable United Kingdom +, writes (6 November 2009):

Accountable agony auntMaybe if you don't want to risk your mother losing her faith and trust in you you should do the intelligent thing and use birth control.. you can get free condoms (or pay like I do..) or go on the pill, its not hard and you're clearly not ready for a baby, so why risk it?? Youve said you worry about it every month, how has it not occured to you that you could stop that monthly worry so simply?

As for whether you are pregnant now, it is possible but if you keep worrying about it you are likely to delay your period further. Relax until a few days after its due, then get a pregnancy test if it still hasnt come. I do sympathise with you - pregnancy scares are horrible, especially at our age, and yes I know what I'm talking about! You can so easily prevent this, so please do so in the future :) good luck! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

victimhood? ....how am I acting like a victim? I say he would be angry because he is very short tempered is all. he tends to lose it when put under pressure or in tough situations which is part of the reason we have broken up. as for telling my mother, that's not an option at this point. she knows I am having sex but if she knew it was unprotected she would lose all trust and faith in me. That's not something I want to give up, especially because I am not positive that I actually am pregnant.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

dear get a a pregnancy test donee privately,

it its possitive....tell parents and they will help...

face it ..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

Having repeated unprotected sex is purposely trying to get pregnant.

Stop trying to get pregnant.

It won't improve things between you and him. It won't keep him in your life if he doesn't want to be there.

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A female reader, ffogalilly United States +, writes (6 November 2009):

Why are you not on BC? I don't really have much room to talk, but you usually get on BC so you don't have these problems. From your description you could be pregnant, just take a test and go from there. And if you're not, please get on BC, I've been your situation once and I never plan on doing it again.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (6 November 2009):

Tisha-1 agony auntSo the guy who put his penis in you without a condom, with whom you actually spent the night, he would be angry? And he would blow off child support too? I don't think he has a choice. Nor do you. If you spent the night with him, how does your mother not know you're having sex with him? Are you lying to her?

Lacey, it's time to step up and take some responsibility here. "Mom, I need to get a pregnancy test. I also should see a gynecologist because I'm now sexually active and I keep having unprotected sex because I don't know any better. I need your help, Mom."

We're not magicians here, we can't look through our computer screens and see if you are pregnant or not. You have to figure out how to do this. If you cab lie your way into spending the night with your boyfriend, you can certainly lie your way into a ride to the drugstore (chemists, for the UK). You're full of excuses but that's not going to get you the help you need. If you do adult things you must expect adult consequences.

Sorry to be blunt but you need to snap out of victimhood here and start acting like a grown up.

I hope everything turns out for the best. Take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well im 16 but dnt drive and jus quit my job.. so i dnt have a way to go gettt a pregnancy test or money to get onee.. i dnt have anyone i cld tell about this who wld get one for me.. and i dnt know how to tell my boyfriend... well ex... bc i fear he will jus blow it off or become very angry. idkk =/ thankk uu for the answers tho

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (6 November 2009):

tux agony aunt6 days ago would have put you at the tail end of your "fertile period" for whatever that is worth, but then again anytime you have unprotected sex, pulling out or not, increases your odds of becoming pregnant. only way to tell for sure is a pregnancy test.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

You could be pregnant, but only a test can tell. Why can't you take an at-home pregnancy test without telling your parents? If you are pregnant, you're going to have to tell them anyway.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tho the title says only twice, it was three times on that occassion and every time ive had sex with him in the past (about 30 times now i have to say). jus clarifying! thanks!

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