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Troubled relationship with ex. I want him to reach out but don't think he will

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 April 2021) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 April 2021)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Been on and off with an ex for a couple years. Broke up simply due to having different needs but still care for each other very much. Thursday night after a movie with his friends, he got angry at me over something I said regarding driving and pulled over so hard it jerked everyone and told me to get out of the car right now. He’s serious. I can walk home. I told him in a few minutes when he drops me off because was a few blocks away and it’s past 1am.

He has a lil trouble getting out too. It felt like he coulda hit something. He sets his destination and drives past my block and parks the car. He says don’t talk to him as soon as he gets out and I call an Uber home. The others in the car didn’t say anything. After wards he sent a angry paragraph. The next day asked if wanted to go see a new movie w him and a friend. He also called me to which I did not respond. He texted apologizing and doesn’t want me to hate him and he wants to talk. I was incredibly hurt by it bc two days before he had said he loved me but also said I was very selfish with the emotions of a 10yr old....

I felt his actions towards me were clear and he would be happier without me and I just couldn’t stand to see him online knowing he’s waiting to see when I’m online. I shouldn’t have to hide my status for one person and I know wasn’t ready to talk with him so I blocked him on social media. I feel guilty for it when he wants to talk it out but this is the 3rd time he’s been so super angry at me and acted out. He never gets angry like that with anyone else. Never blocked before but I did it yesterday (Sunday) and am not afraid to go on messenger anymore. He has my number and I didn’t block him there but doubt he will call. He knows where I live and would visit the area often to see friends and family, but never me. So... yea.

I find myself hoping he will try to find a way to get in touch w me when I know he has never gone out of his way like that before. So moot point I don’t know why I keep dreaming of. I’m just a bundle of feels I don’t know where to put or organize.

View related questions: broke up, text

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (29 April 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntLet me ask you something: would you re-read a book, expecting the ending to be different from the first time you read it? Would you watch a film again which you had watched before, expecting the ending to be different to the previous time(s)? Of course not. Why? Because that just doesn't make any sense. So why do you keep going back to a relationship which you already know will not work out?

Drop him from our life and move on. You are worth better.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (29 April 2021):

kenny agony auntOP you have been off and on, off and on and the relationship has never worked out.

I don't know the extent of what actually happened in the car that night, and what was said. I just think what he did was completely unacceptable asking a female to get out of the car at 1am, and leave them to get an uber home. No matter what happened a decent person would have made sure you got home safely.

I think you need to be accepting of the fact that this relationship is over. You did the right thing blocking him, now forget him and move on with your life.

He sounds like he has got an awful temper, and no respect for you at all. Think to yourself that you dodged a bullet and get on with your life.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (29 April 2021):

Honeypie agony auntOP,

Your relationship NEVER worked. That is why it was off/on. You CAN care for someone and be absolutely WORNG for each other. THAT is what you had with him.

It's probably for the best to KEEP him blocked and MOVE on with your life. Just like HE needs to move on with his.

You both seem immature. I don't know what you said in the car that made him pull over and asked you to get out, but don't minimize your OWN behavior and actions. Your post makes it seem like HE is the one in the wrong, but maybe he isn't?

Why do you want him to contact you again? It's OVER. Your relationship is a STONE DEAD horse you BOTH try and saddle up! Stop wasting your time. It's NOT going to magically get fixed and work.

You know, he knows that this relationship is OVER. You are both holding on to each other because it's scary to be on your own.

Focus on you. focus on YOUR life and HOW you want to become.

Doing the same thing OVER and OVER and expecting a different result is insanity. You know that saying, right?

STOP banging your head into a brickwall. It will not cure the headache.

you know what you need to do. Now do it.

Or you will be back in a few years all upset because you wasted all this time on a guy you KNEW wasn't working out and WASTED your chance to have a GOOD partner, kids, and a family.

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