A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so here goes! This is going to seem somewhat complicated:So I've had this boyfriend for a little over 5 months now. Over these past five months, I have fallen totally in love with him, without a doubt in my mind. So I was going to tell him this over New Years, which I did and it back fired completely. He said that he has issues loving and to sum it up, pretty much (in not so few words) told me he does not love me. Okay, I understand love can take time, and yada yada. Well, he was married up until about a year and a half ago and has two children from 2 previous relationships. The oldest child and I get along great. We're friends, her Mom is cool with me, no fighting, no jealously, nothing. I'm a really laid back person, fun, don't like fighting, etc. Basically, the perfect GF and Dad's GF. The youngest one is 5 years old. She came from the marriage relationship. Basically, this one was not an accident. They got married and had a baby and then divorced. She is EXTREMELY jealous of the time my BF and I spend together. I don't know what to do, I can't even give him a hug without her trying to rip me off of him...litterally. She straight off told me that she was jealous....what did I do? I looked to Dad for a response, he said nothing so I...winged it??? I didn't even know what to say??!?! I beleive that this train of thought is half her, half coming from her mother. I could be wrong though and I don't want to excuse her feelings if infact she is feeling like that.But, I love my boyfriend. I want to be with him, I don't think I should have to step on eggshells when the kids are around and I feel like the bad guy, though I didn't do anything?? I have a 2 year old boy who does not act out in jealously or anger. Half because of his age, and half because I demand respect for the relationship between my boyfriend and I. I guess my questions are: How the hell do I get over being so upset about his youngest daughter?, how do I even tell him what I'm feeling without feeling like an ass because really, I'm the adult here and she's the child?, Is any of this even worth it because, really he said it, he doesn't love me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): sit him down and ask him if he sees a future for you. tell him you love him and want a future together and ask him if he feels the same. if he doesn't seem that interested then i'd get rid of him straight away. if he says he does want a future but just wants to take it slow, then fair enough but calmly tell him that he needs to explain to his child that your in his life now aswell, and just because he wants to spend time with you doesn't mean he loves her any less. if he refuses to talk to his kid when he knows how much its upsetting you then i'd call it a day with him.
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