A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't so much a question, but more of me asking for advice. So basically I know people are going to think I am weird, but here it goes. I have a fantasy of watching my girlfriend give oral to another guy. I have been with her for 2 years and we live together. Please don't tell me I am a bad person or that I don't love her because I do. it is simply something kinky that I want to experience. well anyways, at first when I told her about it she rejected the idea. a year later she finally accepted to do it, but it comes with a twist. She doesn't want to do it with a stranger so she said she would only do it to somebody she knows. well a month ago she ran into her ex-boyfriend. they talked and the subject came up and so she suggested we could have a threesome with him. I know she wouldn't leave me for him because she doesn't like him. She knows they are not compatible and she wouldn't like to date him. she would just feel comfortable with him because they have already slept together in the past. And we have a healthy relationship with no trouble whatsoever. well anyways we are going to do this in a week or so and I want all the advice I could get. suggestions would be helpful and by the way yes he is going to wear a condom for penetration. we have set the boundaries at no kissing , but I will watch her give oral and get penetrated and join in a while.I would like responses by anybody that has done this before. advice and suggestions are appreciated. thank you
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condom, her ex, kissing, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 June 2013):
 I heard my name… here I am. ON this topic I am no longer confused…
I am one of those people that gets aroused at the thoughts of my guy with another woman so I totally get your fantasy and don’t think it’s a bad FANTASY.
I know you love her and that she has “accepted” your request. But her conditions are because she’s not really comfortable with it and is doing it only to please you. This is NOT a good thing in any way shape or form.
Why do you think she’s willing to have sexual contact with her ex that she does not like? BECAUSE he’s a known entitity and she’s doing this not for herself but to PLEASE YOU.
What about if she wants to see someone else or wants you to have sex with someone? How do you feel about this?
My last marriage fell apart because of being open. I am still friends with the guy but I do not wish to have sexual contact with him. Nor would my spouse be happy if I opted to go that route. IN fact, SHOULD I ever decide I want to open my current marriage (I do not) it would not be with a known entity.
My advice as an experienced swinger is that ONLY very strong very secure people in long term marriages that do it for the right reasons (both parties have to WANT it, neither can have any insecurity or jealousy
As for seeing my ex.. I have met him for lunch now and then with prior knowledge and “approval” of our respective spouses and I believe they are coming to see us Sunday to get some software on their computers and let me see my dog that they have custody of. NO sex no physical contact.
Bottom line, DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK. is fulfilling YOUR fantasy worth potentially losing this woman?
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 June 2013):
 So Very Confused is now sticking to one guy only. She would have dinners with her exes, but sex, no.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (28 June 2013):
I am actually thinking she might be certain that an ex is enough of a deterrent to stop this fantasy, and this conversation. You are basically asking her to suck a guy she doesn't like, because there is no other choice. How is that even kinky? Ask her again if you have mutual guy friends will she still do this. You did not come here to ask whether it is to the benefit or detriment to the relationship, or whether you should do this. The only advice I can give you is to pretend he is not her ex. You can plan everything out and I am sure since you have this fantasy for years, that you are more creative than us in this area. Even in porn with three perfect strangers the men lose erection and they go on, try their hardest to last until the end. Threesome porn is never fun to watch.
It is hard for me to imagine your girlfriend and her ex could be enjoying this. If they are not there is no point in doing this.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 June 2013):
 Oh and you both need to wear condoms. You never know where his penis has been and there is an absolute epidemic of oral cancer related to oral sex.
Maybe you could try a warm up experience with her making out with him to see if you are comfortable with that. If you can see her kissing another man and she wants to kiss her ex it could be very hot for her. Kissing is so intimate and revealing, it would show if she's still lusting for him sexually and has found this as a way to get him back into her bed.
So Very Confused is the one to go to for advice on this, she has participated in many threesomes. I don't think they work out for those who aren't absolutely on board with all the rules.
The really interesting thing is that she asked an ex to do it. Maybe you'll be in that position in a few years? As an ex, I mean? Are you okay with the relationship ending?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 June 2013):
It's something kinky *you* want to experience.
Are you really sure she wants to experience it too, or did you just wear her down to the point that she decided to ask an ex to do the deed for you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2013): Umm the fact that she wants to do it with an ex is a bit much. I wouldnt have that. Itd have to be a clean stranger i definitely would feel shit if it were her ex but enjoy a randomer
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