Three year relationship ruined?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ohk so ive pretty much ruined not only a friendship i have had for nearly three years with this guy (lets call him Thom)and his bestfriend (Daniel). Thom was explaining to me the other week that he liked me and that he thinks me and him would work and what not, i told him that i didnt feel the same way that i saw him as a friend and like an older brother and that i didnt think it was a good idea that we went out cause i didnt want to ruin the friendship we have. see the problem is that i have created feelings for his bestfriend Daniel except i know the way that Thom feels so i was never going to act apon it or tell anyone about my feeling (like i said earlier i care about the friendship we have). so it was on a friday night and me, Daniel, Thom and a few other friends were at the bar we usally go to every other weekend, there was alot of alcohol involved we all were pretty drunk me and Daniel were sitting next to each other and one thing lead to another and we started making out all of Daniel and Thoms mates were all like saying 'good on you mate' and what not (Thom was in the toliet) later on when Thom was back at the table it happened again and instead of the 'good on you mate' Thom came over and started punching at Daniel and puched whoever would hold him back to calm down he then went all depressed and started crying in the corner then walked out of the bar and walked all the way home. i felt sooooooo bad and the next day when i was sober i relised how much i really screwed things up. Thom had texted Daniel all night abusing him saying he had crossed the line and betrayed him and what not when he went to pick up his car the next day it was spray painted. me and Daniel agreeded that it should never happen again even though we like each other. ive tried talking to Thom and he not willing to talk or try and work it out not only with me but with Daniel. i feel so bad i just want to make everythings alright again espically with Daniel and Thom but if he will talk to me again then that would be good to . please help thanks

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A male reader, Cccc  +, writes (11 October 2010):

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A female reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (11 October 2010):

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