A
female
age
36-40,
*msosorry
writes:Please help me..i have a very very confused life...i am having a steady relation with guy..whom i realised that i don't love much.meanwhile i was attracted to two ppl.both my office mates.i was just attracted to one, we had a physical relation but nothing was serious.in the mean time i got in touch with the other guy.i madly fell for him.we started dating he knew everything about my past and was ok with my steady guy.meanwhile i did something very very stupid.i slept with the other office guy and my my new boy friend saw this.he tried to forgive me but he is not able to.i am mad about this guy.i'm not able to eat, sleep or anything.i want him back in my life.and i also feel gulity about my steady boy friend who is very very sweet.pls help me get this guy back in my life.i will go mad
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Okay re-cap, you are in a relationship with Mr A.Steady. You know you don't love him but remain in the relationship? WHY?
While this is going on you meet Mr B.Fuckfriend. You don't love him, but fuck him, but don't consider having sex as something serious. WHY?
You then meet Mr C.Hunk. He is the one you claim to love. He is okay with Mr A.Steady. WHY? You continue fucking Mr A. Steady and Mr C.Hunk AND Mr B.Fuckfriend. WHY?
Mr C.Dreamboat who knew you were fucking Mr A.Steady then finds out you also fuck Mr B.Fuckfriend and gets upset about that. This is a bit odd, most men either don't want their girl to fuck anyone or don't care who they fuck.
I use fuck instead of sleep or other softy words because you either love fucking and one man isn't enough or you got some serious issues keeping your knees together.
My dear girl, you are SCREWED and not just in the sex sense. You have physical relations with THREE men. And yes, just a physical thing IS serious. You KNOW it is serious or otherwise you wouldn't post here.
If you were happy, you wouldn't be asking for advice. Fuck an army base if that makes you happy, don't let society tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but if you are NOT happy fucking these three guys you need to sort yourselve out.
Mr A.Steady should be dumped, tell him to get tested and end it. You think he is sweet? Not sweet enough to stop you from fucking two other men repeatedly.
Mr B.Fuckfriend, well you don't care about him, so you can keep him if you want to continue on with just purely phyiscal relations.
Mr C.Hunk is the real problem, I got an easy explenation why he didn't mind Mr A.Steady, a girl with a steady boyfriend can't make claims on you. Sex without commitment, you are to him what Mr B.Fuckfriend is to you. Why then did he get upset about Mr B.Fuckfriend? Because it means he ain't just playing you, you are also playing him.
You claim to care for this Mr C.Hunk, no you don't. If you did you wouldn't fuck the other guys.
You really got to ask yourselve what you want out of your life. And the only guy you can keep is Mr B.Fuckfriend for a purely sexual relation. Mr A.Steady doesn't deserve a girl like you.
Mr C.Hunk doesn't care about you. Why should he, most men don't like sluts and that is what you are. NOT because you have sex with lots of men, but because you cheat on them. Have sex with as many men as you want, but don't lie to them, or yourselve about it.
If you got pregnant, who would be the father? Lovely wedding when you have to wait for the bloodtest to see who is the groom. How about STD's?
How do you think the people in the office see you? You can bet they know. Congrats, your the office slut.
Quit all three relationships and do some soul searching and ask yourselve why you have such trouble ending a relationship and why you so easily spread your legs.
Understand that if you want more then one man, that is something YOU have to decide and live with, but if what you desire is a monogamous steady relation, then you can't go on like this, not for yourselve and not for the guys you are with.
A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 I think you messed up here...and the only solution is to break with all of these guys. Break it off with your steady boyfriend first. He doesn’t deserve you if you don’t love him enough and would cheat on two guys. You are being cruel to him and he need to find someone else who can be his completely. I am not looking down on you for cheating on him. It happened and you simply did not love your boyfriend enough. But the best you can do for him is let him go. It was your fault this happened, and you should confess what you did and tell him it’s over. It will hurt him, but this hurt is far better than to have you continue to cheat on him.
As for the one time guy you know that’s over.
The other guy you are so madly in love with knows you. He knows you have cheated on your steady. He knows you have had sex with this other office mate. He knows you are the cheating type....and that will never change in his eyes. That relationship can never take off. Don't pursue it.
I hope that all this teaches you a little about how important it is not only to be honest with yourself about the men in your life and your faithfulness to them, but also to take relationships ONE AT A TIME! This is what happens when you try to juggle several loves. If you were to do this being a free spirit with your sex life and not worried about commitment it would be okay to date as many men as you want. But if love is what you want you can't play the game this way. You get into a relationship, you love for a while, and get out clean if you have to. All this business of cheating on your boyfriend while trying to get in with these others is just plain destructive, and now you have learned the lesson.
SO in the future, please try to make a clean break with one relationship before jumping in with another. I wish you well and hope you find your true love in the future. When you do find him....be faithful!
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