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They said they were only friends.....and they lied to me!!!!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 April 2006) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Last year my exboyfriend of 9 months, finished with me because he thought we were growing apart. At the time, he was best friends with a girl and I was certain that the real reason he finished with me was because he liked her. I was so upset over the split and my ex and his 'best friend' were always reassuring me that they were nothing more than good friends. For five months I believed this and was hoping that my ex would have a change of heart and come back to me. I have recently discovered however, that they are an item now and are madly in love. They do not care for my feelings and they dont even seem to care that they lied to me. Now I just dont know how to face them in the street. I feel so humilliated but I know that causing a row would make me seem immature and I wouldnt gain anything from it either. But then I dont think I can be friendly and polite towards them after they have hurt me and lied to me. I still love my ex and seeing him with this girl is gonna kill me, so how can I hadle this in a dignified way?

View related questions: best friend, immature, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2006):

I am sorry for your heartache, hun. One way to handle a touchy face to face meeting, is to avoid both of them at all costs, until you recover and mend. But..if that's not possible, you muster up the courage and strength, you put a smile on your face and say hello. The important thing is to show you are dignified and mature, as hard as it is. You can converse briefly, you can act gracious and pleasant and then make a quick exit excuse such as 'your in a rush to meet someone'. (He likely will wonder who you are meeting) But it's critical to get out of there fast...you can fall apart afterwards. If conversing is too tough, then wave or nod and go. You don't have to talk to them. But remember to resist anger and hate...you are better, bigger person then that. Always hold your head held high and keep your dignity intact. You will have shown him and her a more stronger facet of who you are. But most importantly, do this for you. Show them and "yourself' that you truely value yourself. Be good to yourself and give yourself time to recover from this heartbreak. Go out with your friends and try to have fun, as a distraction but please...do not date right away, heal and grow as an individual. You will heal..be patient. Good luck.

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