A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and me have been together for nearly 3 years and we have had our ups and downs but we always stay together because we love each other. We have just had a baby together and now it turns out that she slept with someone else around 9 months ago which means our daughter might not be mine. My girlfriend seems genuinely sorry for what she has done. Obviously I am devastated and at the moment we are still living together and I'm acting as a Dad should to our little girl. I love both of them to bits and we are waiting for the DNA results to come back so we know for sure if she is mine. Nobody knows about my situation and I dread having to tell my family that our little girl whom we all love so dearly may not even be related to us. I dont know what to do or what to feel. I dont want to lose them but I dont know if i'll ever get over the way I am feeling. Have you any advice for me please? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): Hi buddy, Unfortunately, I am in an even worse place. I have been going out with a girl for 10 years and when I met her she had a little girl who was 18 months old at the time. Basically, I have brought her up as my own, and her real dad hasn't had anything to do with her. We then had a little girl of our own three years later. We've had our ups and downs like every relationship, but three years ago, my girlfriend fell pregnant, which at the time I thought was a little weird as I always wear protection. So the day came when we were blessed with another little girl. I've spent the last three years bringing her up, but the last couple of years there have been rumours around our town about her sleeping with another guy about the time she conceived. I was sick of the rumours and so decided to have a paternity test. Four days ago I got the results which have basically told me the worst news, therefore I'm left with three beautiful girls which I love... the littlest one who I've raised for three years as mine and get this news. I am absoloutly devastated as you are! I'm left feeling hollow, but somehow I must carry on and pick up the pieces.I just thought I would let you know that there is someone else going through the same messed up situation!!! Be strong my friend, it isn't your fault, and I'm sure the sun will shine again for us both.
A
male
reader, lionelhutz  +, writes (4 January 2011):
Until a blood/dna test is done, there is no way to know for sure (if that's what you want). But even afterwards, you are the only one who can decide whether or not you want to continue raising this child. Definitely NOT something that can be decided quickly.
best of luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Your girlfriend had unprotected sex with someone else, that should worry you. Also the fact is you may play good guy now but we're talking about making a lifetime commitment to a child that may not be yours, and with time other factors may come into force, she will always be a reminder of betrayal. I wish you luck and I hope she is yours. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (4 January 2011):
Until you have the DNA results, do nothing. If they come back and you girl is yours then you can carry on.
If she are someone else's then you have a decision to make on how you handle it, but only you can decide on what that is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Only you can decide what to do. Babies are all beautiful, even if they are someone elses. However, if the baby is not yours and you aren't going to be there for the rest of her life, don't stay involved and get her attached to you then reject her later. That is cruel and punishes the child for the behavior of the adult.
If she is someone elses child, then they have some "rights" unless they sign off forever. Which means that you will be dealing with them.
Difficult situation. No easy choices.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): you're girlfriend made a mistake and she's possibly going to regret it for the rest of her life. even if the baby isn't yours, you'll may still grow to love it but can you handle her real father being part of her life?
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