A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The weirdest date ever, what does it mean? I met this guy in Miami, we had some kissing and some sort of almost sex in a car. He was out of town. We kept writing to each other very infrequently on FB. 2 years forward, I have a business trip and it's exactly in his little town. At first I thought the name of the city sounds familiar, but then I realized, o, my god that's where this guy lives. So, I send him a message saying that I will be there in a month, if he wants to meet. He answered immediately, of course, he ll show me around. Just a few words, the guy is gorgeous, well spoken, polite, I really liked him the first time. I knew that i can't think of it as of some perspective daing as he is too far away, but was looking at t as some kind of adventure and a good time with a handsome man. So, I arrive, text him, he said, it's a busy week for him as I caught him during exams at university. School, I thought? A little old for that, he is at least 30. buti he said, he deffinitely wants to meet. i felt a little discouraged, but was not upset as I really didn't count on much. He picks me up, handsome as I remember him. Seems happy to see me. Takes me on a night in a town. Pays for every step, takes me to 4 places. Meets some friends of his, introduces me, and in general we are having a good time. Then last hour became really weird. He gets on his phone and keeps on checking his messages. I don't know what to do, so i start talking to people around me. Then he rubs gently my ankle for quite a bit. then we get in a car, and drive to my hotel. He told me he lives alone, but he doesn't invite me . He holds my hand the whole time, playing with my fingers, goes under my sweater, and kind of tickles it. I don't mind. I really enjoyed it, who wouldn't . And then...when we are almost there he starts yawning, he looks really tired, and keeps talking about damn exams he needs to take. We stop at the hotel, I say,thanks for wonderfull night, and get out of the car. He says, let me walk you to the door and give you a hug, and this is exactly what he does: he walks me to the door, gives me a hug for at least few minutes, says, call me if you need anything, and that was it.I go to my room,puzzled its not even the word. He knew I was going to be in town for the whole week. I never heard from him again. What was that, I don't understand. I acted the whole night very obvious, I didn't mind at all to go all the way, I liked him. What was with the leg rubbing and then hands, and then this long hug? And yawning. And then I never heard from him. I still didn't hear anything from him, I am back a month ago, not a word, not how did you get home, nothing! Can I ever figure out guys, I don't know. Some wouldn't miss a chance with whoever, and now this guy who had it on a plate for him, just went home?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2013): This is OP. No, never had anything like that before, actually just a couple casual sex nights in similar long distance situation and when traveled, once. No, he is not gay. We kissed the first night we met and did other sexual things in a car, deffinitely not gay.No, he doesn't have a girlfriend, broke up with one in February, and now studying. On his pictures there is no girls. I am not "bothering" with this guy, posted this question because I liked him, and I thought he liked me too, and his departure after was a little strange after touching me like that, and then he never called, though he told me he has exams. I was acting in a way that I liked him that's all. I acted appropriate for the occasion and nothing more. I looked at him smiling, I didn't mind his touching, but there was nothing else. I didn't hint on anything, it was just a polite conversation, the whole night. But... If he offered to come with me that night I would say, yes. I think men can read it, and hardly ever refuse the ooportunity unless they find a girl not very attractive. I guess I will never have my answer. Thank you all.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 August 2013):
 Maybe he has a GF? And he still wanted to show you around and flirt with you.
Why bother with this guy? It's not like you can have a decent relationship with him that isn't either LD or see him on a regular basis.
And it's NOT like you two are friends.
Why not find someone who is local & available?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 August 2013):
 SVC: I like to "get physical" with my girls.... We do arm- wrestling..... thumb wrestling... and - the best of them - we play tennis together (singles)!!!!
How do YOU "get physical" with YOUR man????
P.S. Did you know that "Scrabble" can be converted in to a body-contact sport?????
XO
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 August 2013):
 I'm betting there is a local woman he's interested in and did not want to cheat on her by being physical with you.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (14 August 2013):
 Maybe he's gay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): When I read he went all weird and preoccupied after checking his phone I would assume he's got some sort of pressing matter - at first I thought it may be business or something. But then when you said you were really obvious about what was in store, along with the fact he hasn't contacted you since, it's pretty clear he's likely involved with someone else. - maybe still very hung up about an ex, maybe who was the one contacting him ,which is why he turned a night of thrills down for something more pressing... When people have deep stuff going down, they often aren't in a one night stand mind frame. Some people aren't into that full stop, there are still gentlemen out there 100% ;) If you really want to keep in contact with him, just write him off as a friend, as like you say, you live too far, don't know what's really going on with him, hasn't contacted you... Like others said maybe shouldn't be available and obvious, sorry :/ Good luck anyway! :) xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2013): Not all guys are sex mad you know! Plus a lot of them like to work for it. The fact you were so willing to have sex with him, regardless of how he treated you, might have scared him off. I know it's a double standard, but many guys would think you didn't have a lot of respect for yourself if you were so willing to sleep with him and it was perhaps a bit of a turn off? Even if you do just enjoy sex and that's all it was to you, lots of guys rightly or wrongly don't see it that way. Maybe try being less obvious next time?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 August 2013):
I'll venture a guess.
Taken in its entirety, your submittal gives me the sense that you "threw yourself" at this guy. While most any guy would covet the opportunity to engage a hot young thing, like you,.... IF her behaviour becomes rather over-the-top it tends to give us pause... thinking "What IS IT about this girl, that she's SO ANXIOUS to get to sex (and, apparently, ONLY sex.... not romance and/or "lovemaking")"
That may be what triggered his behaviour. Have you ever had something similar happen in the past? If "yes," then maybe you would be better served by being a bit coy and cagey with guys....
Good luck....
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