A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I'm a married man for past 10 yrs and have 2 kids, whom i love a lot and spend a lot of time with them more than my wife spends, as her job is quite demanding. We had a love marriage which our families had opposed. During these 10 yrs, our love has taken a backseat our relationship so much so that now i sometimes have a feeling if she really is the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. Lately, we both are trying to put a lot of effort to bring our relation back on track, but the spark does not seem to be there. Even though we say "i love u" around 10 times a day (for all these 10 yrs), i dont think i mean it (neither does she, i guess). She had a very brief affair with one of her office colleague about 3 yr back and even though i have forgiven her, i'm still not over it yet. After that episode, my love for her has just become more of an obligation. Recently, i met a girl online, who also is not happy in her married life, the only difference being that she's only been married for 6 months, and does not have any kids. Our relationship has grown so much that it feels as if we two r soulmates. Now, my mind tells me that i should concentrate on my relationship with my wife, and be happy in my kids' happiness, and focus on my profession and my passion, music.................but my heart says otherwise, that is to just carry on with my online affair and let it take its own course....... What r ur thoughts.....how should i fall in love with my wife again
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affair, married man, soulmate, spark Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): i think if you really want to love your wife again, stop talking to this other woman immediately, she maybe lovely but you dont need that extra problem on the side of trying to fix things with your wife and having feelings for another woman just makes things messy. Then spend a little time apart, gather your thoughts, allow yourself some time to miss her, then reunite with your wife and spend a romantic night together, once you put in the effort your wife will most likely too. Also you must communicate your feelings towards her, maybe ask her to put in a little more effort and say you will too, communication is the keyhowever if this doesnt work and you decide to leave...dont feel trapped in this situation because you have kids, you will always be there for your kids and love them just as much if not more whether your with their mum or not, their lives are not going to be doomed if you decide to leave.Stay true to yourself, you need to look out for yourself and your feelings because no one else is going to.Good Luck!
A
male
reader, rugmonkey  +, writes (8 July 2009):
Whatever you do, weigh very heavily the consequences of your actions. When kids are part of the equation, there is more to question than your own happiness.
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