A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here's what happend. I'm in the military and I recently when on two sets of leave (vacation time):The first set of leave I went to a friends wedding out of state for four days and I met this great girl that I really like. We kind of hit it off and started talking long-distance after I left. The second set of leave, two weeks later, I went to my home state for a visit, and I hooked up one night with a "friend" of mine and we had sex. That was the last I saw of her for the three days I was in town.I went back to my duty station content, and I continued to talk and text with the girl from the wedding. We've continued this for a little over a month now; getting to know one another, and it seems like there's something there but it has been openly established yet. So anyways, I get a call today from the girl in my home state and she's telling me she's pregnant. We both know that it's mine, but already know that we don't want to be together. As much as I am concerned about the child, I have no idea what to tell this great girl from the wedding! I want to tell her in the best way possible as to not lose the opportunity to have a deep relationship with her. Basically I just don't want to scare her off. Is it going to turn her off? I DON'T KNOW! someone throw me a bone here!
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male
reader, holikdad +, writes (8 July 2009):
Someone needs to throw you a condom. Do they not sell them in your state? Was the drug store or market out of them the day you decided to "hook up" for your one night stand and get someone pregnant. Were you unaware that wearing a condom helps to prevent pregnancy?I would verify that the girl is really pregnant, and if she is do a paternity test to prove it's yours. You're in the military so that means that you're a free meal ticket for the girl and she may be pointing the finger at you but it could of been someone else. If she casually hooked up with you for sex without the possibility of a long term commitment then she'd do that with any other guy she meets, so I'd want to be sure that the baby was yours.Also consider abortion or giving the baby up for adoption. I'm sure many people here will slam me for suggesting abortion, but which do you think is better? Having a child grow up in a broken home with little or no money with a mother who really didn't want him or her in the first place? Or growing up with another family that wants a child so badly that they're willing to pay money to cover the pregnancy and adoption expenses?
A
male
reader, Injeopardy +, writes (8 July 2009):
If you have feelings for a girl, it's usually not a great idea to go have sex with other ones.
So if you think there's any chance of a relationship with the wedding girl, you need to be honest with her. If she can live with what you've done and get past it, then you might be ok.
Either way, you need to figure out what you guys are going to do about the baby.
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